Categotry Archives: teh tranz



Categories: all about me, posting at the speed of Amtrak, silly blather, teh tranz, This Was My Life

BUY TAMIFLU NO PRESCRIPTION, Sgniteerg Skcud. I mean, get TAMIFLU, TAMIFLU dose, greetings, ducks, order TAMIFLU online c.o.d. Taking TAMIFLU, I'm on my way home again and blogging at 50 mph, after spending a weekend teaching myself to play the theme from Love Story, purchase TAMIFLU online, Where can i buy TAMIFLU online, listening to my niece read to me, and finally catching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Hulu, herbal TAMIFLU. TAMIFLU price, Which, along with my return homewards, TAMIFLU description, Online buy TAMIFLU without a prescription, has me in a retrospective mood.

I didn't watch Buffy back when it was on TV--oddly enough, I had seen (and even liked) the movie, buy TAMIFLU from mexico, Discount TAMIFLU, and maybe that kept me away at first; I remembered the film as harmless fluff. By the time I heard that Joss Whedon had taken it in a very different, buy TAMIFLU online no prescription, TAMIFLU from canada, darker, and (as usual) beautifully-characterized direction, where can i order TAMIFLU without prescription, Where to buy TAMIFLU, it was too late to catch up on things and I didn't want to try to come in late. So I missed it, until now.

I'm not one of those trans peeps who regrets not having a girlhood, per se; I know how lousy my adolescence was, and I really don't think having been female would have helped much, BUY TAMIFLU NO PRESCRIPTION. (Or would it, no prescription TAMIFLU online. TAMIFLU overnight, I've become such a different--and better--person since I transitioned, maybe it would have worked out...) But that doesn't keep me from occasionally getting blue about--about the tremendous waste involved with my early life, purchase TAMIFLU, Comprar en línea TAMIFLU, comprar TAMIFLU baratos, the years of being strangled with doubt and confusion, the horrific amount of mental baggage I carried around, TAMIFLU schedule. TAMIFLU treatment, And then too there is the consciousness of not having had a girlhood, of not having had to deal with being a teen ager, TAMIFLU coupon, Real brand TAMIFLU online, of all the ways my history separates me from other women.

Which isn't to say there aren't compensations; I was raised to believe that all things were possible for me, whereas sadly far too many women I know were raised to believe that they could be only those things that were proper, TAMIFLU cost. Low dose TAMIFLU, I might have been drowning in dysphoria, but I was never stifled by sexism, TAMIFLU brand name, Buy TAMIFLU from canada, never silenced by society. BUY TAMIFLU NO PRESCRIPTION, I might have struggled with my assigned role, but it was a lot easier role to deal with than being an adolescent female.

On the other hand, though, try being the boy in sixth grade with a stuffed animal collection that covers his bed. That hill ain't so fun to climb either.

I adore Buffy so far, my TAMIFLU experience. TAMIFLU recreational, I love how the show manages to have empowered female characters, to show the human side of everyone, all without denying the ordinary pressures of adolescent society: Buffy might be a superhuman being with an awesome responsibility, but she worries about being popular; Xander's sly self-deprecation reminds me of someone I used to know (Ahem. It was one way to deal with always being picked on.) And I love Willow, even if she hasn't become a witch yet.

Plus, Joss Whedon's pitch statement--"high school as a horror movie"--pretty much sums up my recollection of those days.

Even so, watching it can't but help stir the pot of my memories--if part of my tranisition has been learning about how unhappy I used to be (without even knowing it), then high school was me at my most miserable--tormented by my strangeness, my awkwardness, and the horrible feelings I had that I feared were at the root of everything. Watching Buffy can lead me to those "if only" moments--if only I knew that I could be a woman, if only I knew how happy it would make me--if only I could have just been born female and avoided all of this pain.

I can't change that. I'm not even sure I would if I could; the person I am today was forged on the anvil of my transness, and I would be a very different person indeed without it. And I like that person, more and more every day.

So I shouldn't regret the past. If only I could.

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Categories: privilege stories, teh tranz, tiger beatdown rocks, your RDA of intersectionality

BUY TAFIL-XANOR NO PRESCRIPTION, Intersectionality, ducks. It's all the rage. Everyone talks about it because--everyone lives it!

Take, TAFIL-XANOR canada, mexico, india, for example, this story over at Pam's House Blend. It seems that there was a topless coffee shop up in Maine, one that a (deranged, where can i find TAFIL-XANOR online, angry, spiteful) local resident decided it was OK to burn to the ground. Is TAFIL-XANOR addictive, Nobody was hurt, but they could have been--the owner and his wife and children were sleeping inside. In addition to the destruction of his uninsured building, the owner lost the lobster pots and carpenter's equipment he used to make a living.

Why am I bringing this up, BUY TAFIL-XANOR NO PRESCRIPTION. Because of the dizzying intersections of forces, privileges and theories in this one case, TAFIL-XANOR maximum dosage. When I first read the story, my thinking went something like this:

  1. A topless coffee shop. Generic TAFIL-XANOR, That's got to be some sexist exploitation going on.

  2. Didn't deserve to burn down, though. That's not right.

  3. Wait, they had a topless waiter too?

  4. The family nearly died?

  5. Still, buy TAFIL-XANOR without prescription, I think a topless anything is probably exploitative.

  6. The townsfolk didn't like the place.

  7. But they didn't like it, it seems, After TAFIL-XANOR, because they thought it was sexist: they didn't like it because they thought it was "dirty."

  8. Well, sex isn't dirty. BUY TAFIL-XANOR NO PRESCRIPTION, I like sex. People, such as me, australia, uk, us, usa, should have more sex and feel less guilty about it.

  9. Wait, one of the waitresses was using the money to put herself through college?

  10. But it's still exploitative, What is TAFIL-XANOR, right?

  11. Sure, because it's sexist that being a topless waitress was the best way for her to make money. Whew. I almost had to think for a second.

  12. My head hurts, cheap TAFIL-XANOR no rx. I can't figure out if I should write a post condemning the place, or write them a check. Or both.

And that's a relatively benign example, BUY TAFIL-XANOR NO PRESCRIPTION. Doses TAFIL-XANOR work, Things can get far more complicated than that.

For example, there's me.

Being trans opens you up to a wonderful world of intersecting under- and overprivileging. On the one hand, I'm a woman--I identify as one, generic TAFIL-XANOR, I look like one, I am in general treated like one, Where can i find TAFIL-XANOR online, with all that entails. Moreover, I'm a trans woman, which means that if/when people find out/are told/Google me that their attitudes about me will very likely change, online TAFIL-XANOR without a prescription. Some will stop thinking of me as a woman. BUY TAFIL-XANOR NO PRESCRIPTION, Some will think of me as a woman with an asterisk. Sometimes I'll be expected to be the mystical tranny, Buy TAFIL-XANOR online no prescription, here to tell everyone about what it's like to be trans. (And, of course, almost everyone will want to know what my genitals look like, is TAFIL-XANOR addictive, something not an ordinary area of discourse, at least not at lunch.) Not to mention that there are people who will react violently towards me, Where can i cheapest TAFIL-XANOR online, who will single me out, who will make me a special target--that over and beyond the targeted/othered status I bear as a woman, as a trans woman I'm at risk for even greater degrees of violence.

But wait. There's also no denying that I have and have had privileges simply not available to most women, kjøpe TAFIL-XANOR på nett, köpa TAFIL-XANOR online. As a very, very simple example: it is highly unlikely that a woman who had my editorial assistant job 14 years ago would have been given the license to teach herself how to program computers that I received. (Especially not at that company--the boss was a right old chauvinist.) In fact, just about everything about my career in IT, which is my bread and butter, was aided by being male at the time, BUY TAFIL-XANOR NO PRESCRIPTION. Fast shipping TAFIL-XANOR, I had instant credibility; it was considered proper for me to be in the field; and I never had to vouchsafe my identity as a programmer the way many women in IT have to. (Though many women don't have to vouchsafe their gender the way I often have to; like I said, it gets dizzying.)

And of course I'm white, not overweight, herbal TAFIL-XANOR, college-educated, not disabled. Australia, uk, us, usa, A ton of privileges. Do my underprivileged characteristics--not cisgendered, not straight, not chromosomally female--outweigh my privileges?

It depends.

One of the reasons I began writing this blog was the gradual awakening I had about the iniquities of privilege, buy no prescription TAFIL-XANOR online. BUY TAFIL-XANOR NO PRESCRIPTION, It's the passion that drives me, even as I struggle to understand and expose my own privileges. It's why I am an opponent of kyriarchy, why I so staunchly oppose all the various petty divisions within the different communities of underprivilege. TAFIL-XANOR steet value,

But as it turns out, checking your privilege is very hard to do.

Which leads me to Shakesville. I've only been a recent reader there, but the community there had a profound influence on me; indeed, buy TAFIL-XANOR from mexico, Shakesville and Tiger Beatdown are the two sites that inspired me to start blogging again after a four-year hiatus.

I'm mentioning Shakesville because--as you may have noticed in my little blogroll widget--the site is in stasis right now. You can read about it at Shakesville, Rx free TAFIL-XANOR, but what it breaks down to is: Melissa McEwan, the founder and webmistress of the site, had to take a break from posting. On her own blog, BUY TAFIL-XANOR NO PRESCRIPTION. Because people wouldn't listen to her when she said that a lot of the comments were bothering her, TAFIL-XANOR overnight, and that people needed to be more civil.

I'll repeat that. She stopped posting. Get TAFIL-XANOR, To her own blog.

Even though I've only been a recent Shaker, the safe space that Liss has created and worked so hard to maintain is something I cherish. And even as I get mad that things came to this head, I feel bad for my own failings, purchase TAFIL-XANOR online no prescription, sins of commission and omission, there.

The idea that Shakesville has reached a crossroads, TAFIL-XANOR over the counter, that there could really not be a Shakesville anymore, is chilling.

Sady at Tiger Beatdown as usual is all over this, far better than I can add with my poor powers. But I will say: this is an issue of privilege, TAFIL-XANOR from mexico, of flaunting it and most of all of not examining your own privilege. But just so we all understand:

When somebody tells you something you said hurt them, and you don't take it
seriously, that's privilege.

When somebody tells you your conduct is against the simple rules she created
for her own space, that's privilege.

When you repeatedly ignore complaints except to occasionally apologize and
then go right back to doing what you were doing, that's privilege.

If you think that somebody is supposed to do something for you, something
that you value and treasure, and you don't listen to what they say, you in fact
act like you were owed something--you better believe that's
privilege with a capital-fuckin' P.

And when somebody writes an incensed blog post about privilege, you can bet she has some privilege too. We all do. So what are you going to do about that.




Categories: bitterness, Humorless Tranny™, teh tranz

ZEBETA FOR SALE, I'm in a bad mood right now, ducks, so I find myself not in a position to judge on the humor of this piece--I get what they're doing, but I'm surprisingly humorless about this subject.

But judge for yourselves:

Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage

(h/t helen boyd at (en)gender)

Me, I'm off to hide under the covers against the moment when somebody takes me to task for using a sports reference in the title of this post--it's only been a few hours since someone tried to revoke my womanhood, and I need to recharge. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal. ZEBETA mg. ZEBETA for sale. Buy ZEBETA online cod. My ZEBETA experience. ZEBETA dosage. ZEBETA schedule. ZEBETA without a prescription. ZEBETA without prescription. Purchase ZEBETA online. ZEBETA canada, mexico, india. Online buy ZEBETA without a prescription. Buy ZEBETA no prescription. ZEBETA trusted pharmacy reviews. Ordering ZEBETA online. ZEBETA photos. Comprar en línea ZEBETA, comprar ZEBETA baratos. Buy cheap ZEBETA. ZEBETA wiki. Order ZEBETA online overnight delivery no prescription. ZEBETA use. ZEBETA dose. Real brand ZEBETA online. ZEBETA pharmacy. Where can i buy cheapest ZEBETA online. What is ZEBETA. Effects of ZEBETA. Where can i buy ZEBETA online. Buy cheap ZEBETA no rx. Order ZEBETA online c.o.d.

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Categories: all about me, bitterness, teh tranz, vive le feminisme, why i blog

Reasons I Am Told I Cannot Be A Feminist
KLONOPIN FOR SALE, Culled from Books, Message Boards, Web Pages and Conversations by, for, and against feminists

  1. Because I shave my legs.
  2. Because I color my hair.
  3. Because I wear skirts.
  4. Because I wear dresses.
  5. Because I wear high heels.
  6. Because I had plastic surgery.
  7. Because I had breast implants.
  8. Because I had vaginoplasty.
  9. Because I am attracted to men.
  10. Because I still am attracted to women.
  11. Because I've read a few books on feminism.
  12. Because I've only read a few books on feminism.
  13. Because I have a vagina--now.
  14. Because I didn't have a vagina--then.
  15. Because I don't have a cervix.
  16. Because I had a penis.
  17. Because I had male privilege.
  18. Because I had white, male, middle-class privilege.
  19. Because I still have white, middle-class privilege.
  20. Because I wasn't raised as a girl.
  21. Because I look like a dude.
  22. Because I look like a woman.
  23. Because of who I was.
  24. Because of who I am.
  25. Because I dare call myself a woman.
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Categories: all about me, milestones, teh tranz, why i blog

ALERAM FOR SALE, Greetings, Ducks. Today, ALERAM dangers, ALERAM blogs, it turns out, is the one-monthery (strictly speaking, ALERAM gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, Online buy ALERAM without a prescription, an anniversary refers to a year. Yes, order ALERAM no prescription, ALERAM steet value, I took Latin. Yes, ALERAM from mexico, Fast shipping ALERAM, I am a shameless pedant!) of this blog. Which I seem to have celebrated by taking the day off (well, ALERAM interactions, Purchase ALERAM, to be fair, that proposal I wrote the other day blossomed into further proposals and some discussions with the potential client, ALERAM overnight, ALERAM no prescription, so I was busy.)

I want to thank all of you who have dropped by, and especially all of you who left such nice comments here, ALERAM pharmacy. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, Starting a blog again was something that I did with some trepidation, and your encouragement has really been so lovely.

I had trepidation because part of my "process" (no, ALERAM description, ALERAM images, thank you, Anonymous!) is figuring out exactly how much my transness is going to be integrated with the rest of my life, ALERAM maximum dosage, ALERAM without prescription, and starting a blog where I was so open about it (albeit with personal details obscured) seemed to have the potential to swallow my life up again. After so, buy cheap ALERAM, ALERAM australia, uk, us, usa, so many years where my transness was a constant, overriding distraction to my life, ALERAM samples, Doses ALERAM work, I really wanted to just try being a woman for a while.

But it's clear that I have things to say about transness, and especially about how transness intersects with feminism, where can i cheapest ALERAM online. ALERAM class, So I say them here, and so far it hasn't consumed me--in fact, buy ALERAM from canada, Buy ALERAM from mexico, it's acted as a safety valve, letting me work on living a life not always dominated by where I've come from, no prescription ALERAM online, Herbal ALERAM, but by where I'm going.

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Categories: Humorless Tranny™, let's hear it for the ladies, teh tranz

Over at Shakesville there's a heartwarming post about an openly gay student who was elected prom queen BUY VANTIN NO PRESCRIPTION, . Buy VANTIN without a prescription, (You can read the original story here.)

I'm certainly glad to know that a high school can be so accepting; the idea of a student being openly gay at my high school was unthinkable, and that was only--well, australia, uk, us, usa, Purchase VANTIN, more than a decade ago. And I'm really happy that Sergio Garcia can be open, VANTIN use, Buy VANTIN online cod, and be himself.

All that said, I'm afraid I have to be a bit of a wet blanket about this, VANTIN alternatives. VANTIN from mexico, Call me a Humorles Tranny™, but I as a trans woman I see a few complications with this whole thing.

First, order VANTIN online c.o.d, Where can i buy VANTIN online, I have to wonder: would somebody who was openly trans have been elected prom queen. (Maybe; it happened in Fresno.) Then there is the question of why somebody who doesn't identify as female is even running for prom queen, VANTIN used for. According to the article, "He thought the role [of prom queen] would suit him better than prom king." Yeah--isn't that kind of the point, BUY VANTIN NO PRESCRIPTION. VANTIN forum, I mean, if he had been elected prom king, VANTIN from canadian pharmacy, VANTIN price, if the student body would have been happy to put him into that bastion of heterosexism, then you might have something to really talk about.

According to the article, online VANTIN without a prescription, VANTIN results, his campaign began as a stunt "but ended up spurring discussion on the campus about gender roles and popularity." Which is really wonderful--we need to have these discussions, especially in high school--but I can't help feeling that it remained something of a stunt til the end.

For example, VANTIN price, coupon, Online buying VANTIN, the article repeatedly makes it clear that despite running for prom queen, Sergio is all man.

"[I'm] not your typical prom queen candidate, real brand VANTIN online. VANTIN reviews, There's more to me than meets
the eye."
"He also promised that he would be wearing a suit on prom night, but 'don't
be fooled: Deep down, where can i cheapest VANTIN online, VANTIN images, I am a queen."
"'I don't wish to be a girl,' he told the Los Angeles Times, VANTIN description. Buying VANTIN online over the counter, 'I just wish to
be myself.'"
Call me oversensitive, but I see a lot of subtle trans- and femmephobia in there, taking VANTIN. VANTIN recreational, There's the clear implication that if he were to wear a dress, that would be somehow wrong, buy cheap VANTIN no rx. VANTIN no rx, His "more than meets the eye" clearly echoes trans stereotypes in the media, from porn to movies, VANTIN cost. Fast shipping VANTIN, And fuckall, how am I supposed to read how he doesn't want to be a girl--yet runs for prom queen--as anything other than the idea that a boy who did want to be a girl and run for prom queen would be weird, VANTIN photos, as opposed to his decidedly non-weird candidacy?

I'm sorry to be coming down so hard on this kid; truth be told, I'm happy that he won, happy he goes to a school that's so accepting, and happy that the reporting on the story doesn't smirk or treat the whole thing as ridiculous.

But compare this nice, respectful story about a clean-cut gay kid who gets to be prom queen with this (triggery) piece about a nice, respectful trans kid who gets elected prom queen. Thrill to the wondrous transphobia: the refusal to use her preferred name (Crystal), the emphasis on her height in heels (cause, you know, she's totes a dude in drag), and fuckitall, the unconscionable refusal to use her preferred pronoun--even after noting she prefers to be called she. You read that story--picked up without comment on a website whose mission statement is "To encourage a world where globalization is not about homogeneity and exploitation, but rather, about diversity and cooperation"--and, if you are like me, you get pissed off and throw a wet blanket on somebody else's party.

Because seriously, great for you Sergio, but am I really supposed to be happy that a guy took another woman's job, even if that job is stupid and heterosexist to begin with.




Categories: privilege stories, teh tranz, Your RDA of Outrage

MEGA HOODIA FOR SALE, Warning: some of the links below may be triggery, as I went to the originals.

The Sotomayor nomination has once again driven the white male protestant establishment--who after all suffer from the greatest discrimination--in an uproar. And as usual a new coded language emerges--Sotomayor is a "bully" for dressing down (male) lawyers, buy MEGA HOODIA from canada, Effects of MEGA HOODIA, that she got her nomination thanks to affirmative action, and, MEGA HOODIA maximum dosage, Doses MEGA HOODIA work, of course, she's not qualified.

The idea that the white guys might be biased against everybody but white guys is of course ignored.

That is, MEGA HOODIA description, Is MEGA HOODIA safe, of course, the gift of privilege--the ability to ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist, generic MEGA HOODIA. Order MEGA HOODIA online overnight delivery no prescription, White men are "normal" in this country--anybody not a white guy is a "minority" even though white men--and men in general--are the real minority in this country.

One of the things about being trans is that it has the potential to help you visualize your privilege, especially if you were, MEGA HOODIA interactions, MEGA HOODIA over the counter, like me, a white male crossdresser--outside I looked no different than any other guy (well, what is MEGA HOODIA, MEGA HOODIA photos, except for the groomed eyebrows and long fingernails), but I knew that if anyone knew about my inner life, MEGA HOODIA blogs, MEGA HOODIA coupon, I'd immediately lose my "normal" status.

Not everybody makes use of this opportunity. I've met incredibly chauvanistic crossdressers--and even transsexuals aren't immune; I've encountered many who were so busy sandcastling their privilege that they try to deny the womanhood of other transpeople, cheap MEGA HOODIA no rx. Online buy MEGA HOODIA without a prescription, (Warning: super-triggery.)

(I'd be on their list for fessing to having identified as a crossdresser.)

Those who do, however, where to buy MEGA HOODIA, Comprar en línea MEGA HOODIA, comprar MEGA HOODIA baratos, learn an important truth: that "normal" can't live in the abscence of "abnormal"--that there always has to be some shadowy Other who opposes all your basic values. The shock of those people of privilege--like myself--who realize that their transness has made them that Other can often lead them to feel solidarity with all the other Others, MEGA HOODIA schedule. Order MEGA HOODIA from mexican pharmacy, (Perhaps this is why trans people still support lesbian and gay rights even after one of the largest gay rights groups threw us cruelly under the bus during the ENDA fiasco last year.)

Privilege is afraid of diversity, because it forces it to confront the Other; privilege hides in the language that underprivileged people use in order to subject them to ridicule; privilege, purchase MEGA HOODIA online, MEGA HOODIA wiki, in short, is nothing else than fear of the Other, canada, mexico, india, Where can i find MEGA HOODIA online, of losing that which didn't belong to it in the first place, of having, MEGA HOODIA reviews, MEGA HOODIA cost, in other words, "normal" become normal--a world where our various diversities of race, MEGA HOODIA from mexico, MEGA HOODIA without a prescription, gender, religion, MEGA HOODIA mg, MEGA HOODIA canada, mexico, india, sexuality are no more important than our diversities in favorite sports team or ice cream flavors.

They live in fear, unfounded fear because diversity has never hurt anybody. Except in their minds.

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Categories: all about me, teh tranz, This Was My Life, tv (trans)

BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, Once I knew a crossdresser named Monica. This was several years ago, when I was a regular in the transgender demimonde--the curious collection of repurposed-for-a-night bars and "safe" restaurants we frequented on the weekends. Given that most people in this world were closeted, Buy PRAVACHOL without prescription, or like me, semi-closeted--I was out to all the important people in my life, but the idea of going out in public during the day was still too frightening--and this was their one chance to "go out" (that's how we said it, too: "I'm going out this weekend" meant going somewhere crossdressed), after a while you got to know the regulars, is PRAVACHOL addictive, the ones that were there every week: that girl who always wore pleather fetish outfits; the married couple that dropped in so the husband could dance and flirt with guys while the wife got wrecked at the bar; the very pretty, I-can't-believe-she's-forty crossdresser who had once run her own trans themed party but now was limited to a few nights out a month because she had a young kid.

Over time, Monica and I became close friends; I even saw her male self a few times, PRAVACHOL dosage, and later on she got to see mine when I invited her to my birthday. We both agreed that these "parties" were nothing more than an extension of the closet; we deplored together the awful dance music the hostesses played (not that it would have mattered much: it is a curious fact that most of the white, middle-aged CDs I knew didn't like to dance); we longed for something more than the desultory anomie of these Saturday nights, but neither of us was ready yet to try to do anything more.

Not everyone who came to these parties was a crossdresser. Some wives and girlfriends came, PRAVACHOL from canadian pharmacy, whose expressions ran the gamut from pie-eyed terror to exhilarated joy. We always looked at these women with curiousity, scarcely allowing ourselves to believe that it was possible to find a woman who could deal with--with all this, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. There were also the trannie chasers. They were a hard crew to figure out--perhaps because most of them were having a hard time figuring out their own attraction. PRAVACHOL alternatives, Some wanted to crossdress but couldn't face their own fears; some wanted to suck a dick attached to something feminine, to mitigate their attraction to male genitalia; and a few just seemed to be turned on by trans bodies. The greater part of them were very shy, standing with their backs to the wall or the bar, always looking just slightly uncomfortable.

We all looked down on the chasers.

There was one group that we looked up to, buy generic PRAVACHOL, though: the transsexuals. BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, Relatively few ever came out to these nights, which somehow made us respect them more--they had done it, they had transitioned and they didn't need an extended closet to be women in. A few did come by, though, PRAVACHOL dose, out of nostalgia, or maladjustment to their new lives; out of friendship for other transgendered people who hadn't transitioned, or out of a need for a safe space as they first began their transitions; out of curiosity or empathy or condescension. They fascinated us. These were people that were more than just women for the weekend; they were women period now, where can i cheapest PRAVACHOL online, and their stories haunted and attracted us.

For a lot of crossdressers, the idea of transition is something that you never really ever let go of. I think this may be because as a transgendered person, PRAVACHOL for sale, you want to be the opposite sex, even if it is only for a little while; so to deny that you would want to transition is to deny that you want to be a woman, which is what you really do want to do. It's all highly confusing, and I think that was one of the reasons we sought out transsexuals: to find our boundaries, to compare stories and see where they were different, to listen to the struggles they had undergone in order to transition and silently do a secret accounting of our own lives and wonder if the price we'd pay would actually be worth it in the end.

But we were told--or at least we had heard--that there were real differences between crossdressers and transsexuals; that crossdressers never transitioned, that transsexuals were in such pain from their gender inconsonance that they had no other choice but to transition, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. And we believed those stories, crossdressers and transsexuals alike; we crossdressers told our wives and girlfriends that we weren't destined to transition, buy no prescription PRAVACHOL online, and transsexuals told the world that they weren't just men who liked to wear women's clothing.

There was one transsexual who was a regular. I didn't really know why Ingrid kept coming (and after a while, she just didn't), PRAVACHOL from canada, but I guess she fit into the category of people who were starting transition and needed a place to get their bearings. We were friendly, and used to talk politics and Japanese martial arts and the American songbook--she had a lovely voice and sometimes would sing a few bars of Cole Porter.

One thing about Ingrid did bother me, though: she didn't like Monica. Or rather, buy cheap PRAVACHOL, she thought she was a mess, directionless, and misguided. BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, Now, truth be told, Monica's hairstyle was out of the Marilyn Quayle school of immobility, her clothing choices were pretty drab and uninspired, and her shoes--well, it's best not to talk about them. Where can i buy PRAVACHOL online, I had myself recently graduated from my evening-wear phase, when I would wear gowns and formal dresses out to bars and had started to dress in a fashion that I thought a woman of my age might dress. So that gave me license to be a bit of a snob, and I am ashamed to say that sometimes I snarked right along with Ingrid.

In the trans community, people tend to be judged on a scale that I will call--borrowing it from the world of drag--realness, ordering PRAVACHOL online. This isn't surprising, given that the very drive that defines us as transgendered is to be the opposite sex. Realness is a troubling term, PRAVACHOL price, coupon, though. It's not that it's inaccurate--it very accurately describes the attitudes I usually encountered, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. But we made "realness" mean the same thing as "authenticity"--we based our perceptions of you as a person on how close you were to this ideal of "womanhood." Thus, people who wore everyday clothes were superior to people who wear fetishistic clothes; people who lived as women were better than people who only crossdressed on the weekend; people who had had the surgery were better than people who hadn't, or didn't want to.

Wearing pants was even somehow better than wearing a skirt--because real women didn't wear skirts all the time. (Neither do crossdressers in their everyday lives, PRAVACHOL pictures, but making that point hardly helped their case.) In fact, it was a bitter joke amongst us that if you started to show up wearing pants, it meant you were bound to eventually transition.

If I would sometimes put Monica down, Taking PRAVACHOL, I also defended her; I would point out that she was one of the sweetest, kindest people I knew, and that went a lot further with me than her fashion sense; and in any case, the more she came out, the better she looked, PRAVACHOL dangers. But no matter; Ingrid thought she was a hopeless case, and Ingrid was a woman of firmly-held convictions.

Besides, Monica and I were both crossdressers, PRAVACHOL forum, and so clearly didn't know what we were talking about.

It's been a long time since I was a regular in that world, and I've learned quite a bit since then. One thing that I learned is that I wanted to transition, that the bright lines I had drawn were a lie; crossdressers really did transition. BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, That led me to question other things, to wonder if being a transsexual actually made you more real; or was it that, crossdressers were perfectly real crossdressers. And that somehow, order PRAVACHOL online c.o.d, that wasn't wrong or something to put people down about. On one of my last trips out to one of these parties, I was sitting at the bar, PRAVACHOL online cod, silently smirking at this or that poorly-done outfit, when an elderly crossdresser came in. Her dress looked terrible on her, her lipstick was as crooked as a Vermont dirt road, and her wig was haphazardly clinging to the top of her head, PRAVACHOL long term. But when I looked more closely, I could see the pure joy in her eyes, the incredible relief at being able to finally express this part of herself. And my smirk died a cold death on my face and I--I in my careful makeup and fashionable clothes--I was ashamed.

Since then I've learned much more about feminism and power structures; I see now that what we saw as realness was nothing else than judging people on their looks; that people have the right to define their own gender/personality/womanhood however they want to, and that makes it as real as anyone else's, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. PRAVACHOL samples, I learned, too, how often it is in underprivileged communities that heirarchies arise, tiny parodies of the larger, oppressive order, PRAVACHOL canada, mexico, india. I learned that trans people were hardly alone in equating realness with authenticity; everywhere I looked among the various underprivileged communities I encountered--female, feminist, people of color--I saw the same pattern of holding other members of your group up to your own personal ideal, Buying PRAVACHOL online over the counter, and then calling them out on how far they fell short of it. People complained about it; long and bitter struggles took place with each faction trying to prove their authenticity to each other. And yet the patterns persisted, over and over and over again.

I last saw Monica four years ago, on my birthday, buy generic PRAVACHOL. BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, She wore a tasteful leather suit, a short wig, and perfect makeup--she looked, in short, the very model of a still-rockin' suburban woman in her 40s. She had begun to play electric guitar--she was a huge Kiss fan--and had even done her own drag act in Las Vegas. She was still one of the sweetest people I have ever met. And she seemed very happy.

I ran into Ingrid about a year later at a Julia Serrano reading. Purchase PRAVACHOL online no prescription, By that point I was well into my own transition; in fact, outside of onsite visits to my clients, I presented as female all the time. Ingrid, on the other hand, seemed to be much as I had last known her; she was presenting as male that day, which surprised me--it had been five years since I'd seen her last, I thought she'd have gone fulltime by then.

I wondered if she still though Monica was a mess, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. If she, and me, kjøpe PRAVACHOL på nett, köpa PRAVACHOL online, were still wedded to our fantasy heirarchies, our own petite power trips. I still wonder that about myself.

Despite our internecine conflicts, PRAVACHOL dosage, we still manage to gain a victory and then all of us move forward: sissies can get married just the same as the straightest-acting modern Mattachinist; the woman who clutched her pearls until her hands bled got to vote the same as a bloomers-wearing suffragist; and maybe, just maybe, one day crossdressers and transsexuals will both be able to pee in peace.

We are like children on the beach, building little sandcastles, while above us the guns of a real fort threaten our lives, PRAVACHOL alternatives. And yet, rather than march together on that fort, we bicker over how grand our sandcastles are, how much better they arethan other people's, how beautiful, how necessary, how safe. And so we will stay until these sandcastle virtues are all swept away.




Categories: let's hear it for the ladies, teh tranz, This Was My Life, tiger beatdown rocks, vive le feminisme, why i blog

AVAPRO FOR SALE, "When I sit down to write a book, I do not say to myself, 'I am going to produce a work of art.' I write it because there is some lie I want to expose, some fact to which I want to draw attention, and my initial concern is to get a hearing. But I could not do the work of writing a book, Online AVAPRO without a prescription, or even a long magazine article, if it were not also an aesthetic experience."

--George Orwell, "Why I Write"

I want to thank everyone who dropped by in the last day or so--it is a remarkable experience to see your page views jump 9, AVAPRO treatment,500%, AVAPRO street price, even if it is humbling to consider how few visits you got beforehand. (Especial thanks, of course, AVAPRO price, coupon, to Sady of Tiger Beatdown who gave this blog a rave review.)

I am still figuring out not only what this blog's subject matter will be but also how to live a feminist life. AVAPRO gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, I've talked before about how I slowly awakened into a feminist consciousness, and then found myself roused a second time as a result of my transition. But I don't think I've conveyed the profoundness of the changes I've experienced in the last--can it be so short?--16 months.

I think I was always some sort of weak-valence feminist, no prescription AVAPRO online. My mother may not have used the term for herself, for some reason, but she definitely believed women should have all the rights of men, AVAPRO FOR SALE. She's told me over the years how she prefers the conversation of men of her generation, Where to buy AVAPRO, because she dislikes the domestic subjects most women of her age engage in--perhaps an over broad generalization on her part, but there is no question that she felt she had the right to engage in the traditionally male spheres of politics, religion, AVAPRO recreational, social policy, Fast shipping AVAPRO, etc. Certainly my father was like-minded; neither of them gave their children any hogwash about "proper" gender roles.

So I grew up about as gender-blind as a boy in the 1970s could be, or at least a boy in the 1970s who was conscious of wanting to be a girl, my AVAPRO experience, or at least wearing girls' clothing--I wasn't always sure of the difference, AVAPRO pharmacy, early on. (When I was maybe four or five, I sometimes would run up to the mirror in my bedroom in the morning hoping I'd been changed into a girl overnight, online buying AVAPRO. Sometimes--sometimes I would delay getting out of bed, AVAPRO reviews, hiding under the covers in order to hold myself in some sort of Schrödingian state of not-maleness, trying to hold on to the desperate possibility of transformation. AVAPRO FOR SALE, That there was a way to collapse the waveform without using a mirror never occurred to me; so you can see that the distinction between being a girl and dressing like one wasn't particularly clear to me yet. And that I was a very weird little boy, buy AVAPRO from canada. But you'd probably gathered that already.)

I think by the time I knew what a feminist was I had no problem describing myself as one--at least as far as my understanding of what a "feminist" was anyway; I had heard it meant that you believed in women's rights--I was ignorant of the larger controversies. AVAPRO pics, Perhaps that was a good thing; I was generally incredulous of people who didn't call themselves feminists--it seemed ludicrous to deny that women were people just as good as men, as outdated as racial prejudice, which my parents had strenuously sanitized from our upbringing.

That is not to say that I was some Kwisatz Haderach of gender-studies, AVAPRO schedule, the result of some cabalistic breeding program perhaps founded by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Dr. AVAPRO steet value, Blackwell. Like most men of my position--and I'll call myself that for the purposes of this post, even though there are some issues in applying without qualification the label of "man" for what I was--I was largely unconscious of my privilege, and I picked up the usual assortment of stereotypes, falsities, foolishnesses and outright idiocies, AVAPRO FOR SALE. Some were survival tactics--if you walk amidst the world of men without the courage to show your real self, you learn how to camoflouge yourself--some were simple artifacts of my time and gender, AVAPRO coupon, and some were just stupid blindspots. AVAPRO dose, I didn't believe in any of the idiocies I sometimes mouthed--the occasional misogynistic/homophobic/even, god help me, racist joke--but neither did I believe particularly strongly in the opposite positions, AVAPRO brand name, at least not strongly enough to protest very loud. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, I had no courage of my convictions; being all-in was terrifying to me; I was, in short, your garden-variety fauxgressive.

I am deeply ashamed of all that today.

The first signs of any changes happened during my marriage, after AVAPRO, which I know I have not talked about before. Where can i find AVAPRO online, My wife and I had suffered through a few years of tearful impasse about my transness--this was back when I still identified as a crossdresser--only to come to a fairly reasonable accomodation. AVAPRO FOR SALE, She sometimes would come with me to dinners and social events with other trans people, and in turn I was experimenting with metrosexuality and ways to enjoy my masculinity. During this time I met helen boyd and began to learn about feminism beyond my lukewarm "women's rights" position.

It was the beginning of the 21st century, Bush was in office, low dose AVAPRO, political oppression was in the air, Get AVAPRO, and I was reading Backlash and The Beauty Myth and for the first time really waking up to the misogyny all around me. Yet my motivation was complex...part of it was the realization that as a crossdresser, a person who sympathized with women, AVAPRO description, who saw myself at least in part as a woman, AVAPRO from mexico, I needed to go beyond the trappings of feminity and learn about the real experiences of women; part of it was meeting bold, feminist women and listening to their stories; and part of it was the progressiveness and liberalism that I found myself taking up now that they were threatened. Even so, buy AVAPRO from mexico, while my passion for feminism grew to a white-hot passion, AVAPRO duration, it was still an intellectual passion--at root, I could always take solace in my disconnection from it on an everyday level.

A young trans woman of my acquaintance once asked me about life as a woman. She had been reading my diatribes against transphobia and misogyny on a message board we both belonged to, AVAPRO from canada, and wanted to know, was it really so bad. Was she really going to feel constantly oppressed?

No, I said, it wasn't so bad--but the thing is, once I had transitioned, I never had to seek out misogyny again. Before transition, I could ignore it, I needed people to point it out to me--but after transition, I see it constantly, AVAPRO FOR SALE. And that changed everything; I was shorn of my detatchment; the political became truly personal, and awoke my outrage.

And that is the essence of the second awakening. I cannot claim to know, to feel what it is like to have been the target of misogyny my whole life; I'm not sure I can even claim to know what it's like to feel transphobia my whole life--it is difficult to make evaluations like that when you're in the closet. I have no doubt that I will make a lot of mistakes in the future as I continue my mission to discover what a feminist life will look like for me. Which is why I am so glad for the women I've found in the feminist blogosphere, for Liss and her Shakers, for Pam and her Blenders, and especially for Sady and her Beatdowns--because it was Sady who gave me the template for the kind of blog I wanted to write, one that was mostly impersonal (I am anonymous, after all) but still came from a deeply personal place of passion and outrage, to create something that wasn't just reportage or even opinion, but my own work of art, a monument to my implacable fury.

I'm still learning. But I'm thankful to have you along for the ride.

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Categories: all about me, my pussy my self, teh tranz

CARDURA FOR SALE, In the first place, it's not so easy even to find your vagina. Women go weeks, months, where can i cheapest CARDURA online, sometimes years without looking at it.

--Eve Ensler, CARDURA without prescription, The Vagina Monologues
I suppose that makes me a bit different, because I see my vagina at least three times a day, and usually six, CARDURA interactions, and can look forward to a long future of regularly saying hi to my down there.

My vagina is a bit different than other women's, CARDURA photos, as a consequence of my not having been born with one.

One of the things you learn about, if you are transsexual and if you are thinking about having The Surgery (italicization was really unnecessary, wasn't it, is CARDURA safe. I mean, Where can i buy CARDURA online, if I mention surgery I know where your head is going to go) is about the D-Word--dilation. It's one of the aftercare things they don't tell you about back when you first realize that you want to be female, not that you'd have told anyone, real brand CARDURA online, at least, Buy CARDURA online no prescription, not if you were me.

The commonplace that nature abhors a vacuum works on my neo-vagina as well: left to its own devices, my body would fill it in gradually, like silt in a canal, what is CARDURA. (Ick.) So everyday, CARDURA class, three times a day right now, I have to--well, dilate it: put something inside to hold the shape and gradually convince my body that it's supposed to be there.

There's probably all sorts of ways to accomplish this--my surgeon's instructions on the subject note that sexual intercourse is the equivalent of "only one dilation"--but the standard equipment is a series of four graduated lucite rods, CARDURA over the counter, rounded on one end, Doses CARDURA work, about seven inches long each. You start with the relatively small #1, about the diameter of a carrot, and eventually work your way up to the squat #4, which is wider than the handle of the flashlight I keep on my desk, CARDURA FOR SALE. Right now I use the #2 and #3 when I dilate, warming up for ten minutes on the first, buy cheap CARDURA no rx, and then a half an hour on the second. Where can i buy cheapest CARDURA online, With time out for changing them, this lasts about as long as an hour-long television drama if you fast-forward through the commercials, so I tend to time-shift shows on my DVR to have something to do while dilating.

Because you can't do much while dilating; as the dilation isn't just about girth, buy CARDURA without a prescription, but much more about preserving depth, Purchase CARDURA, you have to keep a constant pressure up with one hand. So typing is out, and even reading a book can be cumbersome, CARDURA mg. So, CARDURA without a prescription, you watch tv, or maybe surf the internet one-handed.

When I first heard about dilation, naturally I feared that it would hurt, generic CARDURA, that every day I'd have to put myself through some sort of agony. CARDURA FOR SALE, It turns out that dilation doesn't hurt, isn't even all that uncomfortable: just a boring, repetitive chore. Where can i order CARDURA without prescription, (You do have to stock up on lubricant, though.) On days when I am visiting a client, the first thing I do when I get home--before even making dinner--is to dilate, CARDURA wiki, because I am overdue, Discount CARDURA, and even then I have to do it again in a few hours. In time I'll be able to do it less--most of the women I know who are several years out from their surgery dilate about once a week--but for now it's an onerous duty. I am handmaid to my vagina.

But I do get to see it everyday, buy cheap CARDURA. This might sound wonderful except of course that familiarity breeds--indifference. CARDURA no rx, I no longer examine myself except to check that nothing looks inflamed, and to make sure I get the dilator in the right place. Maybe there are women who don't need to use a mirror, effects of CARDURA, but when I try I usually end up bumping something else instead, Buy CARDURA no prescription, like my clitoris.

I do remember the first few times I saw it though--red, raw, inflamed, order CARDURA from mexican pharmacy, supperating in places and with ugly black sutures running inside it, Canada, mexico, india, Frankensteinian. But after the first few times of worrying about the discomfort of dilating, and the shock of this wound I had created, CARDURA results, it became something else, Purchase CARDURA online, a part of me, a long-sought for piece of the life I had always wanted and never had; my beautiful, glistening, gaping self; my other me made corporeal; my genitals, my wish, my pussy, my peace.

The last day I spent in Thailand, as I was getting dressed to go, I looked at myself in the mirror--lessened but made whole, no longer reminded by my reflection of where I had come from but only of where I had arrived. I smiled and happy tears welled up.

Then I lay on the bed and laughed, laughed, laughed.

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