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16 September 2009

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BUY Galantamine ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Désolée, mes canards. Sorry, Galantamine snort, alcohol iteraction, Acheter en ligne Galantamine, acheter Galantamine bon marché, Ducks. Been an odd few days--an exhausting theory fight on a board I belong to, Nashville-Davidson, Tennessee. Portland, Oregon, Austin, Texas, Memphis, Tennessee, and general exhaustion. You see, rx free Galantamine, Fort Worth, Texas. Denver, Colorado, it would seem that I did an apartment exchange with a French person who only drinks tea. That's right, Baltimore, Maryland. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. No means of creating coffee in the apartment except a jar of instant coffee, BUY Galantamine ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Comprar en línea Galantamine, comprar Galantamine baratos, Which I was actually desperate enough to use.

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The show has some really good paintings, and they are really beautiful--though I agree a bit with Michelangelo's critique that the Venetian painters placed color over drawing skill, farmacia Galantamine baratos, Galantamine online kaufen. Where can i find Galantamine online, (It's okay; you can make the same criticism of my favorite painting in the world, which has some awkward bits--look at the way the arm kind of hangs out there in the foreground.) And as I walked through the exhibit, kjøpe Galantamine online, bestill Galantamine online, Indianapolis, Indiana, San Francisco, California, two thoughts came immediately to mind:

A) These guys painted real women! Take a look at the centerpiece of the exhibit, one of Titian's most famous paintings, Galantamine 50mg, Buy Galantamine no prescription, Danaë:

It's astonishing to contrast Danaë with media images today--her breasts, hips, Galantamine over the counter, Galantamine price, thighs, arms--and look, order Galantamine no prescription, Buy no prescription Galantamine online, she even has a bit of stomach. And she's a gorgeous, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Phoenix, Arizona, idealized image of femininity; this is what women were supposed to look like.

In fact, she looks a lot like Lizzi Miller...the plus-size (size 14) model:

Although she's hardly idealized, at least by some people:

So what do you think. Does Lizzi Miller look fantastic or is this lowering standards for stick thinness industrywide?

(For a little more intelligent discussion, see this Below the Belt post.)

However, my appreciation for this fact was kinda mitigate by my next observation...

B) This exhibit is a little...rapey

OK, a lot rapey.

I mean, the signature painting of the exhibit--the afore-referenced Danaë--depicts, well, the rape of a woman by Zeus. BUY Galantamine ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Oh, and did I mention that she had been kidnapped by her father and locked up to prevent her from having a kid? I know the Greeks weren't really big on happy stories, but still.

In fact, and I guess sort of to it's credit, the exhibit has a whole couple of rooms about the ways nudes are depicted in the arts of these masters. But even that was a bit problematic: wall to wall naked women, offering themselves up to men, or the male gaze, or alone by themselves (letting you gaze voyeuristically at them.) And in one room, there were five separate treatments of the Rape of Lucretia. Which is a lot of rape to have in one room, even if the paintings themselves are exquisitely decorated.

So that takes me back to French puns.

One of the things you say in French when you are introduced to someone is Ravissante à faire vôtre conaissance. Now, ravissante means ravished; and in French, this is basically only used in the way we use the English word ravishing, that is, beautiful.

But it comes from the same roots and same sense as ravished in English: to take, to carry off...to rape.

So that's why I flipped it around in my post title, one translation of which might be: "to meet you, I am ravished."

I don't mean to say that in French you say that you're raped when you meet people. That's not what it means anymore. But it is an artifact of how rape, how the principles of rape--that a woman's body belongs not to her, but the men who look at her, who can take her--pervades every corner of our culture. You can see it art; you can hear it in language; you can feel it in the way men look at you, or in the long lists that people send you telling you how you can avoid being assaulted--because assault is an implacable force of nature, not the acts of people with the moral capacity to make decisions.

But hey, don't believe me. Just ask Tucker Max.

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27 June 2009

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BUY Diarex ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Greetings, ducks, from Dallas, where today it didn't crack 100 degrees Fahrenheit. El Paso, Texas. Washington, D.C. Seattle, Washington, That actually made the news. Today, order Diarex online c.o.d, Detroit, Michigan, San Jose, California, we continue our unintentional Trans Week (good week for it, though) with yet more about body modifications:

In the 26 months since I decided to transition, Diarex from canadian pharmacy, Diarex 250mg, I've made a number of physical alterations to my body, both to make me feel better about myself, Diarex 150mg, Fort Worth, Texas. Denver, Colorado, and to make it easier for me to blend in the world as a woman. The vaginoplasty you already know about; I've made oblique mention to the fact that I had breast implants done at the same time, where can i find Diarex online. Buy cheap Diarex, (The rumors are true about that: the augmentation hurt more than the GRS; it's one thing to not be able to sit up for several weeks, and quite another to not be able to move your arms for four days.) And seventeen months ago, buy Diarex online cod, 0.4mg, 0.5mg, 1mg, 2.5mg, right when I went fulltime, I had plastic surgery to trim down my jaw and chin, Austin, Texas, Memphis, Tennessee, Order Diarex from mexican pharmacy, which were quite heavy once upon a time.

None of these visible surgeries were to make me more conventionally beautiful, not even the breast implants--it was always about just trying to have something resembling the female body I feel I should have had, where can i buy cheapest Diarex online, Diarex 1000mg, 2000mg, if things had only turned out differently. (Seriously, Scout's honor, and you know, I was a Boy Scout once.)

But my longest investment in time and money has been electrolysis, to remove what's left of my beard.

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This has a lot of advantages--since you have to let your hairs grow (so they can tell which ones are active) for several days, there's an advantage to having your whole face cleared in a single day, something not really possible without anesthetic. (I've felt electrolysis without the lidocaine--not something you'd want to sit through for a couple of hours.)

The problem is, the lidocaine hurts: it gets injected at a shallow angle, multiple times, and it burns like acid under the skin. Sure, it's just for a few minutes, but those few minutes are pretty hellish--I cried the first time.

I still think it's worth it, BUY Diarex ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Not because I couldn't be a woman with some facial hair; I've known plenty of women like that. No, it's worth it because of what it does for me--because shaving was the most masculine thing I did every day; because the things I had to do to cover up my beard were so frustrating and annoying, and such a reminder of who I wasn't; and because stubble is one of the things that remind me most of who I was.

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18 June 2009

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Another reason is that I actually like to wear makeup, at least some of the time, Jacksonville, Florida, Columbus, Ohio. Buy Human Growth Hormone without a prescription, I like the way it makes me look. I like the way that liking the way I look makes me feel, 0.4mg, 0.5mg, 1mg, 2.5mg, Human Growth Hormone 150mg, just as I like how I feel when I think I'm wearing a nice-looking outfit.

This is obviously a bit more problematic.

Because there's no doubt that doing so feeds into negative stereotypes of how a woman is supposed to look, dress, purchase Human Growth Hormone online, Rx free Human Growth Hormone, and act. There's little doubt in my mind that most of these are patriarchalist; that many are demeaning to women; that they constitute an ongoing backlash against women who dared be more than adjuncts to male sexuality.

I mean, El Paso, Texas. Washington, D.C. Seattle, Washington, Online buying Human Growth Hormone, hey, I've read Naomi Wolfe, Chicago, Illinois. Houston, Texas, I get all that.

But in my case it's even more complicated. Because, you see, I never had a girlhood; I didn't spend my childhood having lessons about what is proper or popular drummed into my head; and because of that, my relationship to fashion and cosmetics is a lot less complicated than most women my age.

I'm a bit like my friend Joanna, BUY Human Growth Hormone ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. (Not that it matters, but she's not trans.) She didn't spend her high school or even early-adult years worrying that much about the latest clothes, the hippest trends. But around the time that I began to become interested in finding clothes I thought made me look good, instead of clothes that just made me look like a woman, she became interested in fashion. And she's now one of the most fashionable people I know, though not trendy or consumed with a passion for the next unattainable fashion accessory.

For both of us, our clothes, our makeup, our appearance is a lot more about the pleasure we get from it than a pressure to fit in. I won't deny that pressure exists--of course it does; but we both feel a lot more comfortable resisting it.

Or like I said before, we dress the way we do because of how it makes us feel, not because of how we feel we have to.

Ariel Levy said something in Female Chauvinist Pigs that I think gets at what I'm saying:

Monitoring her appearance and measuring the response to it have been her focal point. If her looks were a kind of hobby--if dressing and grooming and working out were things she did for pleasure BUY Human Growth Hormone ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, --then the process would be its own reward. But she spoke of her pursuit as a kind of Sisyphean duty, one that many of her friends had charged themselves with as well.

I guess what I'm saying is that I definitely don't feel the Sisyphean duty part of that equation.

But by the same token, I can't help thinking about exactly how much I'm co-opted with the use of standards of beauty to repress women, that I can't help but think that while I may feel good for wearing certain clothes, that's only because the patriarchal culture around me tells me that I should, that these shoes/skirts/jeans make you feel good, and those (comfortable) shoes/(not-tight) skirts/(loose enough to breathe in) jeans won't. It's hard to sort out and the only thing that comforts me is that a lot of other women my age struggle to sort it out too.

But I'm still going to wear lipstick. Because more than one "LOLZURAGUYYYY" is too much. Hell, one was already too much.