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8 June 2010

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Voice is a lot of things: but if I had to define it for myself, it means using all your quirks, købe Galvus online, αγοράζουν online Galvus, Reasons to buy Galvus online, knowledge, style, Galvus for sale, Canada, mexico, india, tics, vocabulary, purchase Galvus online, Buy cheap Galvus, word choice, hell, köpa Galvus online, Osta Galvus online, Jotta Galvus verkossa, Galvus pharmacy, even your spell check and thesaurus, to create an effect that not only communicates what you want to say, El Paso, Texas. Washington, D.C. Seattle, Washington, but does it in a way that is uniquely you. Maybe once we’d have called it wit, but this is America and the twenty-first century, and we don’t have time for anything that can’t be barked out at a personal improvement seminar.

On a number of levels, I’ve had to learn a lot about voice.


On y va, mes cheries!.

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14 February 2010

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26 January 2010

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I have not, temporally speaking, Yerba Diet coupon, Buy Yerba Diet from mexico, been doing this here ladybusiness for all that long. (Some would draw a facetious comparison, order Yerba Diet no prescription, Yerba Diet 150mg, in fact, to the amount of time I have in fact been a lady, Yerba Diet in cats, dogs, children, Buy Yerba Diet online no prescription, but as that number would vary between never and 37 years depending on whether you asked Germaine Greer or Kate Bornstein, I’ll just move on.)
Yet even that short time, Yerba Diet 625mg,650mg, Købe Yerba Diet online, αγοράζουν online Yerba Diet, the depressing amount of material that exists out in the lady-hating or lady-indifferent or just lady, get me a beer world can drag you down, Yerba Diet 5mg. Canada, mexico, india, Why, you say to yourself as you labor over your blog in a hot kitchen (well, purchase Yerba Diet online no prescription, Order Yerba Diet online overnight delivery no prescription, I’m baking cookies, see…) should I address another MRA apologia, buy Yerba Diet online cod, Indianapolis, Indiana, San Francisco, California, tear apart another straw-feminist, or deal with this week’s Exciting Variation on the Tone Argument, buy generic Yerba Diet. San Diego, California. Dallas, Texas. San Antonio, Texas, (I solve those by getting louder.)
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21 January 2010

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I saw it because of Spike Jonze, buy cheap Viagra Plus, Order Viagra Plus from mexican pharmacy, and because I am just old enough to have grown up in the Golden Age of Maurice Sendak — that hazy, golden late afternoon in America when Sesame Street had become established, buy no prescription Viagra Plus online, Viagra Plus 125mg, the children raised by Dr. Spock were raising their own children, San Diego, California. Dallas, Texas. San Antonio, Texas, Köpa Viagra Plus online, Osta Viagra Plus online, Jotta Viagra Plus verkossa, and Sendak and Shel Silverstein dominated the bookcases of every “with it” parent. (I was too young to say things like “with it, purchase Viagra Plus online no prescription, Viagra Plus 625mg,650mg, ” of course, but I had teenaged cousins, purchase Viagra Plus online, El Paso, Texas. Washington, D.C. Seattle, Washington, and was vaguely aware of things like The Disco… we are talking about that point in history when The Captain and Teneille had their own TV show, people.) It was an age brought to you by CTW.
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8 January 2010

So Mary Daly died.

(You might have heard about it.)

BUY Zolpidem ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, I don't have much to say about Mary Daly, really. Zolpidem withdrawal, I haven't read anything by her (because I am a bad feminist, or at least a lazy one, Zolpidem 1000mg, 2000mg, Comprar en línea Zolpidem, comprar Zolpidem baratos, or at least somebody made very theory-adverse thanks to my graduate studies in English.) I'm not really sure if I'd heard her name before she died (because I am a bad...oh, you know.)

But I was utterly unsurprised to find out that she was a Second Wave radical feminist who, Zolpidem 100mg, 400mg, 450mg, you know, hated me.

(Well, köpa Zolpidem online, Osta Zolpidem online, Jotta Zolpidem verkossa, Buy Zolpidem no prescription, one thing surprised me: she was Janice Raymond's thesis adviser. Janice Raymond, kjøpe Zolpidem online, bestill Zolpidem online. Where can i find Zolpidem online, And no, I'm not going to link to anything about her--if you're here, Fort Worth, Texas. Denver, Colorado, Where can i buy Zolpidem online, you should know about her; if you don't, use the bloody Google.)

As I said over at the ol' Tiger Beatdown today, farmacia Zolpidem baratos, Zolpidem online kaufen, Buy Zolpidem from mexico, it's clear that Mary Daly gave a lot of women a new way of looking at the world; that in a very real sense, she liberated them, Zolpidem 625mg,650mg. Order Zolpidem no prescription, And the glowing testimonials of people who knew her--about how generous she was with her time, how she helped other women writers and feminists, buy cheap Zolpidem no rx, Buy Zolpidem online cod, how she created, in the truest sense of the word, 0.4mg, 0.5mg, 1mg, 2.5mg, El Paso, Texas. Washington, D.C. Seattle, Washington, sisterhood with her fellow women.

But I just can't be all that happy about it, because she also wanted to deny me all those things; because to Mary Daly, japan, craiglist, ebay, hcl, Buy no prescription Zolpidem online, I would never have been woman or even feminist enough.

And this doesn't even touch on the criticisms Audre Lorde leveled at her of ignoring the voices of women of color except as anecdotes, a bit of "color" for a chapter mostly about white women--something Daly never publicly cleared up, where can i buy cheapest Zolpidem online, Zolpidem for sale, at least not while Lorde was alive--or her belief that the male of the species should be reverse decimated (leave one in ten alive) and those secluded in zoos.

And yet a lot of women I admire got their start in feminism with her.

And yet she thought I was a monster.

And yet she was dismissive towards women of color.

And....and what. There was a lot of good Mary Daly did, BUY Zolpidem ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. There was a lot of bad as well, Jacksonville, Florida, Columbus, Ohio. Austin, Texas, Memphis, Tennessee, How do we sort this out. How can you honor the legacy of people who were noble in some ways, Zolpidem 500mg, Online buying Zolpidem, and wicked in others?

How do you make sense of human lives?

Me, I dunno; like I said, Zolpidem 50mg, Zolpidem snort, alcohol iteraction, I never read her. But her fame should not expunge her failings.

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14 December 2009

I have a new post up at Tiger Beatdown!

BUY Megathin ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, It's the first post in a series I'm calling "A Purloined Girlhood" where I look at the ways that watching movies about growing up female have a completely different resonance for me nowadays. The first post is about Say Anything:

You have an odd relationship to the past when you’ve transitioned.

There’s barriers, where can i buy Megathin online, Order Megathin online overnight delivery no prescription, thresholds, hesitations, Megathin snort, alcohol iteraction. Buy generic Megathin, Things Not Wanted To Be Said. Occasionally, Megathin 800mg, 875mg, 900mg, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Phoenix, Arizona, misdirection and dodging. It can get…complicated.

You see, Megathin 250mg, Buy generic Megathin, I am a woman in her thirties Without A Past–or at least, Without An Adolescence.

There are times I don’t regret not having had a girlhood; from what I’ve observed, 400mg, 450mg, Austin, Texas, Memphis, Tennessee, and from what I’ve heard from my friends, it can definitely be one of those things that is Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be.

But at the same time, buy Megathin from mexico, Megathin 150mg, I feel, sometimes…a loss, Megathin 100mg. Megathin snort, alcohol iteraction, A lack. A missing connection between me and other women, buy cheap Megathin. Megathin 1000mg, 2000mg, Adolescence is such a key experience for so many of the women I know, so my lack of a girlhood sometimes leaves me feeling–still–like I’m on the outside, online buy Megathin without a prescription, Boston, Massachusetts. Charlotte, Carolina, looking in. It’s difficult to pin down, Megathin over the counter, Megathin in cats, dogs, children, exactly, especially because doing so sometimes brings back all the pain I felt during my childhood: the pain of having a boyhood I never wanted thrust upon me, where can i find Megathin online, Order Megathin no prescription, the pain of watching others have the life I wanted and not being able to figure out what to do about it.
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10 June 2009

BUY Trikatu ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Intersectionality, ducks. It's all the rage. Trikatu samples, Everyone talks about it because--everyone lives it!

Take, for example, this story over at Pam's House Blend, Trikatu over the counter. It seems that there was a topless coffee shop up in Maine, Trikatu 200mg, one that a (deranged, angry, spiteful) local resident decided it was OK to burn to the ground, order Trikatu online c.o.d. Nobody was hurt, Trikatu in cats, dogs, children, but they could have been--the owner and his wife and children were sleeping inside. In addition to the destruction of his uninsured building, the owner lost the lobster pots and carpenter's equipment he used to make a living.

Why am I bringing this up, BUY Trikatu ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Because of the dizzying intersections of forces, privileges and theories in this one case, köpa Trikatu online, Osta Trikatu online, Jotta Trikatu verkossa. When I first read the story, Kjøpe Trikatu online, bestill Trikatu online, my thinking went something like this:


  1. A topless coffee shop. That's got to be some sexist exploitation going on.

  2. Didn't deserve to burn down, though, japan, craiglist, ebay, hcl. That's not right.

  3. Wait, Canada, mexico, india, they had a topless waiter too?

  4. The family nearly died?

  5. Still, I think a topless anything is probably exploitative.

  6. The townsfolk didn't like the place.

  7. But they didn't like it, it seems, buy Trikatu no prescription, because they thought it was sexist: they didn't like it because they thought it was "dirty."

  8. Well, Reasons to buy Trikatu online, sex isn't dirty. BUY Trikatu ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, I like sex. People, such as me, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Phoenix, Arizona, should have more sex and feel less guilty about it.

  9. Wait, Chicago, Illinois. Houston, Texas, one of the waitresses was using the money to put herself through college?

  10. But it's still exploitative, right?

  11. Sure, because it's sexist that being a topless waitress was the best way for her to make money, Trikatu pharmacy. Whew. 400mg, 450mg, I almost had to think for a second.

  12. My head hurts. I can't figure out if I should write a post condemning the place, or write them a check, Trikatu 625mg,650mg. Or both.

And that's a relatively benign example, BUY Trikatu ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Things can get far more complicated than that.

For example, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Las Vegas, Nevada, there's me.

Being trans opens you up to a wonderful world of intersecting under- and overprivileging. On the one hand, I'm a woman--I identify as one, purchase Trikatu online no prescription, I look like one, Nashville-Davidson, Tennessee. Portland, Oregon, I am in general treated like one, with all that entails. Moreover, Trikatu 125mg, I'm a trans woman, Where can i order Trikatu without prescription, which means that if/when people find out/are told/Google me that their attitudes about me will very likely change. Some will stop thinking of me as a woman. BUY Trikatu ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Some will think of me as a woman with an asterisk. Sometimes I'll be expected to be the mystical tranny, Trikatu 5mg, here to tell everyone about what it's like to be trans. Trikatu price, (And, of course, almost everyone will want to know what my genitals look like, buy Trikatu online no prescription, something not an ordinary area of discourse, Trikatu 75mg, at least not at lunch.) Not to mention that there are people who will react violently towards me, who will single me out, who will make me a special target--that over and beyond the targeted/othered status I bear as a woman, El Paso, Texas. Washington, D.C. Seattle, Washington, as a trans woman I'm at risk for even greater degrees of violence.

But wait. Buy cheap Trikatu, There's also no denying that I have and have had privileges simply not available to most women. As a very, very simple example: it is highly unlikely that a woman who had my editorial assistant job 14 years ago would have been given the license to teach herself how to program computers that I received, Trikatu coupon. (Especially not at that company--the boss was a right old chauvinist.) In fact, just about everything about my career in IT, which is my bread and butter, was aided by being male at the time, BUY Trikatu ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. I had instant credibility; it was considered proper for me to be in the field; and I never had to vouchsafe my identity as a programmer the way many women in IT have to. Australia, uk, us, usa, (Though many women don't have to vouchsafe their gender the way I often have to; like I said, it gets dizzying.)

And of course I'm white, not overweight, buy cheap Trikatu no rx, college-educated, Where can i buy cheapest Trikatu online, not disabled. A ton of privileges. Do my underprivileged characteristics--not cisgendered, comprar en línea Trikatu, comprar Trikatu baratos, not straight, Order Trikatu from mexican pharmacy, not chromosomally female--outweigh my privileges?

It depends.

One of the reasons I began writing this blog was the gradual awakening I had about the iniquities of privilege. BUY Trikatu ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, It's the passion that drives me, even as I struggle to understand and expose my own privileges. It's why I am an opponent of kyriarchy, why I so staunchly oppose all the various petty divisions within the different communities of underprivilege, Trikatu withdrawal.

But as it turns out, Acheter en ligne Trikatu, acheter Trikatu bon marché, checking your privilege is very hard to do.

Which leads me to Shakesville. I've only been a recent reader there, but the community there had a profound influence on me; indeed, Shakesville and Tiger Beatdown are the two sites that inspired me to start blogging again after a four-year hiatus.

I'm mentioning Shakesville because--as you may have noticed in my little blogroll widget--the site is in stasis right now. You can read about it at Shakesville, but what it breaks down to is: Melissa McEwan, the founder and webmistress of the site, had to take a break from posting. On her own blog, BUY Trikatu ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Because people wouldn't listen to her when she said that a lot of the comments were bothering her, and that people needed to be more civil.

I'll repeat that. She stopped posting. To her own blog.

Even though I've only been a recent Shaker, the safe space that Liss has created and worked so hard to maintain is something I cherish. And even as I get mad that things came to this head, I feel bad for my own failings, sins of commission and omission, there.

The idea that Shakesville has reached a crossroads, that there could really not be a Shakesville anymore, is chilling.

Sady at Tiger Beatdown as usual is all over this, far better than I can add with my poor powers. But I will say: this is an issue of privilege, of flaunting it and most of all of not examining your own privilege. But just so we all understand:

When somebody tells you something you said hurt them, and you don't take it
seriously, that's privilege.

When somebody tells you your conduct is against the simple rules she created
for her own space, that's privilege.

When you repeatedly ignore complaints except to occasionally apologize and
then go right back to doing what you were doing, that's privilege.

If you think that somebody is supposed to do something for you, something
that you value and treasure, and you don't listen to what they say, you in fact
act like you were owed something--you better believe that's
privilege with a capital-fuckin' P.

And when somebody writes an incensed blog post about privilege, you can bet she has some privilege too. We all do. So what are you going to do about that.

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5 June 2009

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22 May 2009

BUY Viagra Super Force ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, "When I sit down to write a book, I do not say to myself, 'I am going to produce a work of art.' I write it because there is some lie I want to expose, some fact to which I want to draw attention, and my initial concern is to get a hearing. But I could not do the work of writing a book, Köpa Viagra Super Force online, Osta Viagra Super Force online, Jotta Viagra Super Force verkossa, or even a long magazine article, if it were not also an aesthetic experience."

--George Orwell, "Why I Write"

I want to thank everyone who dropped by in the last day or so--it is a remarkable experience to see your page views jump 9, Baltimore, Maryland. Milwaukee, Wisconsin,500%, Nashville-Davidson, Tennessee. Portland, Oregon, even if it is humbling to consider how few visits you got beforehand. (Especial thanks, of course, 0.4mg, 0.5mg, 1mg, 2.5mg, to Sady of Tiger Beatdown who gave this blog a rave review.)

I am still figuring out not only what this blog's subject matter will be but also how to live a feminist life. Buy Viagra Super Force online no prescription, I've talked before about how I slowly awakened into a feminist consciousness, and then found myself roused a second time as a result of my transition. But I don't think I've conveyed the profoundness of the changes I've experienced in the last--can it be so short?--16 months.

I think I was always some sort of weak-valence feminist, Viagra Super Force price. My mother may not have used the term for herself, for some reason, but she definitely believed women should have all the rights of men, BUY Viagra Super Force ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. She's told me over the years how she prefers the conversation of men of her generation, Viagra Super Force 200mg, because she dislikes the domestic subjects most women of her age engage in--perhaps an over broad generalization on her part, but there is no question that she felt she had the right to engage in the traditionally male spheres of politics, religion, Viagra Super Force over the counter, social policy, Acheter en ligne Viagra Super Force, acheter Viagra Super Force bon marché, etc. Certainly my father was like-minded; neither of them gave their children any hogwash about "proper" gender roles.

So I grew up about as gender-blind as a boy in the 1970s could be, or at least a boy in the 1970s who was conscious of wanting to be a girl, Viagra Super Force 75mg, or at least wearing girls' clothing--I wasn't always sure of the difference, Order Viagra Super Force from mexican pharmacy, early on. (When I was maybe four or five, I sometimes would run up to the mirror in my bedroom in the morning hoping I'd been changed into a girl overnight, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Phoenix, Arizona. Sometimes--sometimes I would delay getting out of bed, Viagra Super Force 800mg, 875mg, 900mg, hiding under the covers in order to hold myself in some sort of Schrödingian state of not-maleness, trying to hold on to the desperate possibility of transformation. BUY Viagra Super Force ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, That there was a way to collapse the waveform without using a mirror never occurred to me; so you can see that the distinction between being a girl and dressing like one wasn't particularly clear to me yet. And that I was a very weird little boy, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Las Vegas, Nevada. But you'd probably gathered that already.)

I think by the time I knew what a feminist was I had no problem describing myself as one--at least as far as my understanding of what a "feminist" was anyway; I had heard it meant that you believed in women's rights--I was ignorant of the larger controversies. Viagra Super Force 1000mg, 2000mg, Perhaps that was a good thing; I was generally incredulous of people who didn't call themselves feminists--it seemed ludicrous to deny that women were people just as good as men, as outdated as racial prejudice, which my parents had strenuously sanitized from our upbringing.

That is not to say that I was some Kwisatz Haderach of gender-studies, 400mg, 450mg, the result of some cabalistic breeding program perhaps founded by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Dr. Buy Viagra Super Force from mexico, Blackwell. Like most men of my position--and I'll call myself that for the purposes of this post, even though there are some issues in applying without qualification the label of "man" for what I was--I was largely unconscious of my privilege, and I picked up the usual assortment of stereotypes, falsities, foolishnesses and outright idiocies, BUY Viagra Super Force ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Some were survival tactics--if you walk amidst the world of men without the courage to show your real self, you learn how to camoflouge yourself--some were simple artifacts of my time and gender, order Viagra Super Force online overnight delivery no prescription, and some were just stupid blindspots. Buy generic Viagra Super Force, I didn't believe in any of the idiocies I sometimes mouthed--the occasional misogynistic/homophobic/even, god help me, racist joke--but neither did I believe particularly strongly in the opposite positions, Viagra Super Force from canadian pharmacy, at least not strongly enough to protest very loud. Viagra Super Force 125mg, I had no courage of my convictions; being all-in was terrifying to me; I was, in short, your garden-variety fauxgressive.

I am deeply ashamed of all that today.

The first signs of any changes happened during my marriage, Viagra Super Force snort, alcohol iteraction, which I know I have not talked about before. Boston, Massachusetts. Charlotte, Carolina, My wife and I had suffered through a few years of tearful impasse about my transness--this was back when I still identified as a crossdresser--only to come to a fairly reasonable accomodation. BUY Viagra Super Force ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, She sometimes would come with me to dinners and social events with other trans people, and in turn I was experimenting with metrosexuality and ways to enjoy my masculinity. During this time I met helen boyd and began to learn about feminism beyond my lukewarm "women's rights" position.

It was the beginning of the 21st century, Bush was in office, buy Viagra Super Force no prescription, political oppression was in the air, Purchase Viagra Super Force online no prescription, and I was reading Backlash and The Beauty Myth and for the first time really waking up to the misogyny all around me. Yet my motivation was complex...part of it was the realization that as a crossdresser, a person who sympathized with women, buy Viagra Super Force without prescription, who saw myself at least in part as a woman, Buy Viagra Super Force online cod, I needed to go beyond the trappings of feminity and learn about the real experiences of women; part of it was meeting bold, feminist women and listening to their stories; and part of it was the progressiveness and liberalism that I found myself taking up now that they were threatened. Even so, Viagra Super Force samples, while my passion for feminism grew to a white-hot passion, Purchase Viagra Super Force online, it was still an intellectual passion--at root, I could always take solace in my disconnection from it on an everyday level.

A young trans woman of my acquaintance once asked me about life as a woman. She had been reading my diatribes against transphobia and misogyny on a message board we both belonged to, Viagra Super Force in cats, dogs, children, and wanted to know, Canada, mexico, india, was it really so bad. Was she really going to feel constantly oppressed?

No, I said, it wasn't so bad--but the thing is, once I had transitioned, I never had to seek out misogyny again. Before transition, I could ignore it, I needed people to point it out to me--but after transition, I see it constantly, BUY Viagra Super Force ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. And that changed everything; I was shorn of my detatchment; the political became truly personal, and awoke my outrage.

And that is the essence of the second awakening, farmacia Viagra Super Force baratos, Viagra Super Force online kaufen. I cannot claim to know, Viagra Super Force coupon, to feel what it is like to have been the target of misogyny my whole life; I'm not sure I can even claim to know what it's like to feel transphobia my whole life--it is difficult to make evaluations like that when you're in the closet. I have no doubt that I will make a lot of mistakes in the future as I continue my mission to discover what a feminist life will look like for me. Which is why I am so glad for the women I've found in the feminist blogosphere, buy Viagra Super Force from canada, for Liss and her Shakers, Where can i order Viagra Super Force without prescription, for Pam and her Blenders, and especially for Sady and her Beatdowns--because it was Sady who gave me the template for the kind of blog I wanted to write, one that was mostly impersonal (I am anonymous, after all) but still came from a deeply personal place of passion and outrage, to create something that wasn't just reportage or even opinion, but my own work of art, a monument to my implacable fury.

I'm still learning. But I'm thankful to have you along for the ride.

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15 May 2009

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