BUY TAMIFLU NO PRESCRIPTION, Sgniteerg Skcud. I mean, get TAMIFLU, TAMIFLU dose, greetings, ducks, order TAMIFLU online c.o.d. Taking TAMIFLU, I'm on my way home again and blogging at 50 mph, after spending a weekend teaching myself to play the theme from Love Story, purchase TAMIFLU online, Where can i buy TAMIFLU online, listening to my niece read to me, and finally catching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Hulu, herbal TAMIFLU. TAMIFLU price, Which, along with my return homewards, TAMIFLU description, Online buy TAMIFLU without a prescription, has me in a retrospective mood.
I didn't watch Buffy back when it was on TV--oddly enough, I had seen (and even liked) the movie, buy TAMIFLU from mexico, Discount TAMIFLU, and maybe that kept me away at first; I remembered the film as harmless fluff. By the time I heard that Joss Whedon had taken it in a very different, buy TAMIFLU online no prescription, TAMIFLU from canada, darker, and (as usual) beautifully-characterized direction, where can i order TAMIFLU without prescription, Where to buy TAMIFLU, it was too late to catch up on things and I didn't want to try to come in late. So I missed it, until now.
I'm not one of those trans peeps who regrets not having a girlhood, per se; I know how lousy my adolescence was, and I really don't think having been female would have helped much, BUY TAMIFLU NO PRESCRIPTION. (Or would it, no prescription TAMIFLU online. TAMIFLU overnight, I've become such a different--and better--person since I transitioned, maybe it would have worked out...) But that doesn't keep me from occasionally getting blue about--about the tremendous waste involved with my early life, purchase TAMIFLU, Comprar en línea TAMIFLU, comprar TAMIFLU baratos, the years of being strangled with doubt and confusion, the horrific amount of mental baggage I carried around, TAMIFLU schedule. TAMIFLU treatment, And then too there is the consciousness of not having had a girlhood, of not having had to deal with being a teen ager, TAMIFLU coupon, Real brand TAMIFLU online, of all the ways my history separates me from other women.
Which isn't to say there aren't compensations; I was raised to believe that all things were possible for me, whereas sadly far too many women I know were raised to believe that they could be only those things that were proper, TAMIFLU cost. Low dose TAMIFLU, I might have been drowning in dysphoria, but I was never stifled by sexism, TAMIFLU brand name, Buy TAMIFLU from canada, never silenced by society. BUY TAMIFLU NO PRESCRIPTION, I might have struggled with my assigned role, but it was a lot easier role to deal with than being an adolescent female.
On the other hand, though, try being the boy in sixth grade with a stuffed animal collection that covers his bed. That hill ain't so fun to climb either.
I adore Buffy so far, my TAMIFLU experience. TAMIFLU recreational, I love how the show manages to have empowered female characters, to show the human side of everyone, all without denying the ordinary pressures of adolescent society: Buffy might be a superhuman being with an awesome responsibility, but she worries about being popular; Xander's sly self-deprecation reminds me of someone I used to know (Ahem. It was one way to deal with always being picked on.) And I love Willow, even if she hasn't become a witch yet.
Plus, Joss Whedon's pitch statement--"high school as a horror movie"--pretty much sums up my recollection of those days.
Even so, watching it can't but help stir the pot of my memories--if part of my tranisition has been learning about how unhappy I used to be (without even knowing it), then high school was me at my most miserable--tormented by my strangeness, my awkwardness, and the horrible feelings I had that I feared were at the root of everything. Watching Buffy can lead me to those "if only" moments--if only I knew that I could be a woman, if only I knew how happy it would make me--if only I could have just been born female and avoided all of this pain.
I can't change that. I'm not even sure I would if I could; the person I am today was forged on the anvil of my transness, and I would be a very different person indeed without it. And I like that person, more and more every day.
So I shouldn't regret the past. If only I could.
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