STENDRA OVER THE COUNTER One Day Sale

January 20, 2010 by CL Minou

BUY PERSANTINE NO PRESCRIPTION

Categories: all about me, how to tell if you've transitioned

BUY PERSANTINE NO PRESCRIPTION, I had a kinda frantic day today--spent all day trying to get some SQL to behave correctly, even though the task should have been pretty easy to do. Buy PERSANTINE online cod, Plus I was late for my therapy appointment--even with catching a cab.

As I was coming up out of the subway, a panhandler asked me for some money; and as I was walking away, where to buy PERSANTINE, PERSANTINE from canada, he said "You have a nice day ma'am--sir--ma'am." (I'm assuming he saw either my boobs or my lipstick and that pushed him over the edge.)

I wasn't particularly happy to hear that, but I wasn't terrifically surprised either, online buying PERSANTINE hcl. Taking PERSANTINE, I was dressed for work, when you work from home: a black tee, PERSANTINE dose, PERSANTINE samples, jeans, and sneakers, online buy PERSANTINE without a prescription. Buy PERSANTINE no prescription, As I was walking away, I thought to myself, PERSANTINE without a prescription, Ordering PERSANTINE online, you've forgotten how to be a girl.

I am much less enlightened in the dark recesses of my mind than I am in print.

But there has been a change in how I present myself over the two years of my fulltime life; there was a time when I always wore eye makeup when I went out, and gave much careful thought to what I was going to wear, where to buy PERSANTINE. Is PERSANTINE addictive, Nowadays, not so much; I've even gone out without wearing any lipstick, buy PERSANTINE online cod, Where can i buy PERSANTINE online, something I'd been avoiding ever since I got read when not wearing it.

A little of this is the weight I've put on, and being too broke to buy new clothes and too unmotivated to try and lose weight, PERSANTINE reviews. But a lot more is simply that I've reached a new point of stability with my life; that my acceptance of myself as a woman means that I need fewer and fewer reinforcements via the trappings of femininity, BUY PERSANTINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Where can i buy cheapest PERSANTINE online, (That, and a year of pounding concrete sidewalks; that gets you out of heels really quick.)

Three years ago, PERSANTINE street price, PERSANTINE price, coupon, in the middle of my dark winter of discontent when I began to seriously consider the idea of transitioning, I would sometimes ask myself (as a way to not transition) what the difference was between hanging around my apartment in my PJ bottoms and a tee as a man and doing the same as a woman; the idea being that my life would be the same whether or not I transitioned, canada, mexico, india, Buy PERSANTINE online no prescription, so why transition. I think I know that answer better now; it's because now I'm free of the doubts about whether I should transition, buy PERSANTINE from canada, Fast shipping PERSANTINE, the doubts about whether or not I really was a woman, the awful amount of psychic energy I dumped into worrying about that problem, rx free PERSANTINE. Buying PERSANTINE online over the counter, And a lot of those issues are gone now, and overall (when I'm not fighting off major depressive crises), PERSANTINE for sale, PERSANTINE results, I have a lot more energy to think and do things--case in point, this blog, buy cheap PERSANTINE no rx, Low dose PERSANTINE, started a year after I transitioned. Even if I have forgotten how to be "a girl, PERSANTINE online cod," however it was that I construed living inside the public tokens of femininity.

Being a woman--a person--is a lot more satisfying anyway.

January 15, 2010 by CL Minou

BUY MERIDIA NO PRESCRIPTION

Categories: hiram monserrate watch

BUY MERIDIA NO PRESCRIPTION, Sometimes, you get a win:

The political fate of State Senator Hiram Monserrate, a Queens Democrat convicted of assault in a dispute that left his companion with a gash on her face, grew uncertain on Thursday as a special committee recommended that the Senate vote soon on a motion to expel him.[...]

The special committee formed after the trial concluded that Mr. Monserrate lied about the dispute and demonstrated “a lack of fitness to serve in this body.”

The report says that he recklessly put his interests above the safety of Ms, taking MERIDIA. Where can i cheapest MERIDIA online, Giraldo and was insincere in his apology. “Whether the senator was worried for his political future or not, buy MERIDIA without prescription, Purchase MERIDIA for sale, the evidence demonstrates both recklessness and callousness,” the committee wrote.

“Accordingly, MERIDIA schedule, MERIDIA without a prescription, ” the report said, “the select committee recommends that Senator Monserrate be sanctioned by the full Senate, MERIDIA over the counter, MERIDIA long term, and that the Senate vote to impose one of two punishments: Expulsion, or in the alternative, purchase MERIDIA, Online buying MERIDIA hcl, censure with revocation of privileges.”

Now, the New York State Senate is the most useless legislature since the steering committee of th Mesopotamian Pot-Washer's Guild tried to formalize which pots they would, order MERIDIA from United States pharmacy, Buy MERIDIA no prescription, in fact, wash, MERIDIA from canadian pharmacy, MERIDIA duration, and the most corrupt legislature since...well...since ever, I think.

What I'm saying is that if these guys think you can't sit with them, MERIDIA natural, MERIDIA use, you really have to be an asshole.

Like Monster Rat QED. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal. MERIDIA forum. MERIDIA description. MERIDIA recreational. MERIDIA trusted pharmacy reviews. MERIDIA blogs. Get MERIDIA. Where can i order MERIDIA without prescription. MERIDIA from canada. After MERIDIA. MERIDIA pics. MERIDIA coupon. MERIDIA brand name. Online buying MERIDIA.

January 13, 2010 by CL Minou

BUY ALDACTONE NO PRESCRIPTION

Categories: Uncategorized

It's Below the Belt time again!

BUY ALDACTONE NO PRESCRIPTION, I call myself transfeminist, because I identify as trans (with a little help from our wonderful society which does so much to keep me from forgetting it) and feminist. Usually this isn't a problem: I identify as a woman, no prescription ALDACTONE online, ALDACTONE without prescription, and feminism is about furthering the causes and rights of women, and I am, ALDACTONE pictures. Purchase ALDACTONE online no prescription, so. there.

But at the same time it has to be acknowledged that feminism and transgender activism often have found themselves in at best an uneasy alliance, ALDACTONE dosage, What is ALDACTONE, and at worst completely divorced from each other. A certain strain of radical feminism (see: Heart, ALDACTONE from mexico, Real brand ALDACTONE online, Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, and my friends at AROOO) maintain a richly transphobic tradition of never seeing trans women as women (or trans men as men, ALDACTONE price, ALDACTONE used for, for that matter; that's why so many trans men have had no problem getting into MWMF), using such all-time hits as "mutilated men, ALDACTONE canada, mexico, india, Buy ALDACTONE without a prescription, " "colonizers," and still number one with a bullet, ALDACTONE wiki, ALDACTONE steet value, "rapists." (I always like that one. I once went looking for statistics on how many trans women get raped a year, my ALDACTONE experience. ALDACTONE treatment, The numbers proved very elusive--it seems most trans victims are either killed instead of being raped, or killed right after being raped.)

Mach schnell!
, order ALDACTONE from mexican pharmacy. ALDACTONE photos. ALDACTONE no prescription. Where can i find ALDACTONE online. ALDACTONE dose. Order ALDACTONE online c.o.d. Australia, uk, us, usa. ALDACTONE cost. Effects of ALDACTONE. Comprar en línea ALDACTONE, comprar ALDACTONE baratos. Doses ALDACTONE work. ALDACTONE interactions. Herbal ALDACTONE. ALDACTONE samples.

January 12, 2010 by CL Minou

LOPRAZOLAM FOR SALE

Categories: double bound, i heart oppression, invasive kyriarchy, privilege stories, supremely sexist

LOPRAZOLAM FOR SALE, It's comforting to tell ourselves that a lot of the battles that feminists have fought are finally over, and we're in the mop up stage. Buy LOPRAZOLAM from mexico, It seems undeniable that attitudes have indeed improved since the days of the pre-Second Wave; one sees more and more female executives, attorneys, buy no prescription LOPRAZOLAM online, Discount LOPRAZOLAM, and doctors (though not nearly enough) than ever nowadays, and even my D&D book uses the female pronoun as often as the male pronoun in the text.

When D&D hops the equality train, online buy LOPRAZOLAM without a prescription, LOPRAZOLAM gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, that's progress.

So we can tell ourselves that women are finally (at least in the West) moving out of the shadow of men, begin to truly have autonomy: that what Elizabeth Gilbert says below is indeed happening, order LOPRAZOLAM online overnight delivery no prescription, Order LOPRAZOLAM no prescription, and more than that, is being successful:

...Gilbert says, LOPRAZOLAM pharmacy, LOPRAZOLAM overnight, we're still in the midst of a radical new social experiment.
"And the radical, unprecedented new social experiment is: What happens if we give women autonomy, purchase LOPRAZOLAM online, Kjøpe LOPRAZOLAM på nett, köpa LOPRAZOLAM online, education, finances, LOPRAZOLAM class, Buy cheap LOPRAZOLAM, you know, control over their sexual biology?" she says, LOPRAZOLAM alternatives. About LOPRAZOLAM, "What happens if we give you all this freedom. What are you going to do with it, LOPRAZOLAM images. LOPRAZOLAM maximum dosage, … And we're all still sort of puzzling it out in a very intense way."

And then you open your browser or flip through a newspaper and all that comes crashing down around you, and you see it for the papier-mâché construct it truly is, cheap LOPRAZOLAM. Like when you read this:

Before the first juror is selected or witness called, a decision allowing a confessed killer to argue he believes the slaying of one of the nation's few late-term abortion providers was a justified act aimed at saving unborn children has upended what most expected to be an open-and-shut case.

Some abortion opponents are pleasantly stunned and eager to watch Scott Roeder tell a jury his slaying of Wichita doctor George Tiller was voluntary manslaughter. Tiller's colleagues and abortion rights advocates are outraged and fear the court's actions give a more than tacit approval to further acts of violence.

''This judge has basically announced a death sentence for all of us who help women, cheap LOPRAZOLAM no rx, Online LOPRAZOLAM without a prescription, '' said Dr. Warren Hern of Boulder, generic LOPRAZOLAM, Buy generic LOPRAZOLAM, Colo., a longtime friend of Tiller who also performs late-term abortions, LOPRAZOLAM no rx. Is LOPRAZOLAM safe, ''That is the effect of the ruling.''

Just so that we're really clear on this, just so that everybody gets on the same footing, LOPRAZOLAM dangers, LOPRAZOLAM mg, just so we can skip past the language issues of calling fetuses "unborn children," understand this: Roeder's defense, where to buy LOPRAZOLAM, Buy LOPRAZOLAM no prescription, basically, is that he had the right to kill someone based on his right to control what another human being does with her body.

He had the right to control you, get LOPRAZOLAM. LOPRAZOLAM FOR SALE, And if you asserted that control (which is due to you, one would hope, as a member of the human race--at least the male half is supposed to have bodily autonomy) and enlisted the help of a medical professional, he had the right to kill that professional in order to remove your autonomy.

Of course, "yours" only if you're female. Which still seems to be a quasi-legal status.

Think of other cases where bodily autonomy might be involved, and wonder to yourselves if they would be able to be entered as legal justifications: But your Honor, I had to kill that abolitionist, she was helping my slave to escape.

If somebody had killed Dr. Kevorkian, would the court allow a justification defense. Even though it would be a lot more warranted than one in the case of the murder of a physician, a man who helped save the lives of many women?

Jill at Feministe has a good explanation of what's happening, though it hasn't quite gotten me off the ledge:

I will write more about this later as time allows, but the judge in the Scott Roeder case — Roeder is the man who shot abortion provider George Tiller at Tiller’s church — has ruled that Roeder may present a case for voluntary manslaughter instead of murder. Voluntary manslaughter is a less serious crime than murder, and subject to softer penalties. This doesn’t mean that Roeder is only being charged with voluntary manslaughter; my best guess based on the judge’s comments here is that he doesn’t want this case to be overturned on appeal, and so he’s allowing the jury to consider voluntary manslaughter as a lesser-included offense, LOPRAZOLAM FOR SALE. Which makes sense.

Except that there are, of course, bigger issues at play. The judge at least rejected Roeder’s proposed “necessity” defense, but a jury will still have the option of giving Roeder a lighter sentence if the defense makes the case that Roeder had an “unreasonable but honest belief that circumstances existed that justified deadly force.” If the jury does buy that defense — and you can bet that Roeder’s team will make the trial about Dr. Tiller and abortion — it lessens the disincentives for other would-be terrorists to take out abortion providers.

Indeed.

So there is no patriarchy, and justice is for all. Just not the all that includes you.

January 12, 2010 by CL Minou

ZERIT FOR SALE

Categories: all about me, silly blather

ZERIT FOR SALE, Greetings Ducks, from the home office. Which isn't even really an office, online buying ZERIT hcl, Effects of ZERIT, but it is in my home. My kitchen, order ZERIT from United States pharmacy, ZERIT pictures, actually: space here in The Great American Metropolis is at a premium, let me tell you!

Lately it has become an actual office of sorts, ZERIT natural, ZERIT mg, because of that gig I mentioned last week, which I do from the comfort of home, ZERIT no prescription. ZERIT from mexico, Well, relative comfort: while I'm no longer unemployed, buy cheap ZERIT, Cheap ZERIT, I am underemployed; I need to do about 50 hours a week at my current rate to make my monthly expenses. I'm not really complaining...well, online buying ZERIT, ZERIT class, I am a bit, because this is way below my former rate, ZERIT canada, mexico, india, Herbal ZERIT, alas.

That's the economy, folks.

I do have a view from my window, order ZERIT from mexican pharmacy, ZERIT used for, of sorts--it's on the air shaft between my building and the one next door. Now, this was supposed to be an improvement, way back in the 19th century, over just having buildings cheek-by-jowl; but the reality is that they don't help all that much, ZERIT FOR SALE. The shafts let in almost no light (in the spring, ZERIT forum, ZERIT from canada, I sometimes get some light in through the shaft in the afternoon) and they have no draw whatsoever, so you don't get much in the way of cross-ventilation, discount ZERIT. ZERIT trusted pharmacy reviews, And my view is a brick wall.

Still, it's nice to have an office with a window.

Working from home doesn't particularly bother me--writer, where can i cheapest ZERIT online, ZERIT maximum dosage, remember?--though it is a drag to be chained to my chair all day long without being able to run out for a while (I'm on a timeclock, and I'd have to punch out if I was up from my keyboard for too long.) It's a bit ironic that I should end up with this gig, buy cheap ZERIT no rx, Buy ZERIT online cod, though (and not just because my brother used to work for them, something I didn't know until I applied for the job.) Ironic because a lot of trans people end up either wanting a job like this, ZERIT steet value, ZERIT pics, or having to take a job like this because it's the only job they can safely do.

Trans folks come in all shapes and sizes; and sometimes those shapes, for whatever reason (most often because the person is still in the middle of transition), order ZERIT online c.o.d, Order ZERIT online overnight delivery no prescription, are harder for cis people to "peg" as one gender or another. This causes enormous discomfort on the part of the cis person (see unboxedqueer's groovy post about this today at Below the Belt), canada, mexico, india, ZERIT brand name, which they immediately pass along to the trans person. Because, that's like the totally fair thing to do, right. ZERIT FOR SALE, I mean, it's the freak's, I mean, your problem, right. Right?

Right.

So a lot of trans people have to look for work that doesn't involve interaction with other poeple. (And yeah, the phone often counts, if you're MtF--phone voice is the hardest voice to manage.) I'm fortunate enough to have a skill that lets' me do this and still survive; many other folks aren't. But it must be their fault, right?

Right.

Back around Halloween a lot of folks like this Onion bit about finding costumes for your effeminate boy. I wasn't one of them, though--to me, the bit ultimately felt pretty cruel and lost the point of laughing at the bigoted announcers in favor of indulging in some cruelty towards the kids. You know, like...holding people up to your own standards of gender presentation. Which never ever hurts anybody, or makes it hard for them to get a job. Yeah. I much preferred this SNL bit instead:

Homocil Commercial - watch more funny videos

Until you come around.

January 9, 2010 by CL Minou

BUY LEUKERAN NO PRESCRIPTION

Categories: don't get your panties in a bunch, media tool kit, silly blather, teh tranz

BUY LEUKERAN NO PRESCRIPTION, Hey, I haven't said anything about David Letterman yet!

I mean, not that there's often much to say about David Letterman, besides he's mostly a jerk. Where can i buy LEUKERAN online, It's, you know, LEUKERAN treatment, LEUKERAN dangers, what he's famous for.

But I guess you might have heard about this...

Yeah. OK, LEUKERAN without a prescription. LEUKERAN use, Wow, a show hosted by a known jerk (of the douchey, ordering LEUKERAN online, Comprar en línea LEUKERAN, comprar LEUKERAN baratos, cheating on his wife with interns in a bedroom he had built at the studio just for that purpose kind of way) engages in some cheap-shot transphobia. Yawn, is LEUKERAN safe. Hand me the remote...

But what's that you say, BUY LEUKERAN NO PRESCRIPTION. Purchase LEUKERAN, Speak up, Straw-Reader-I-am-making-up-for-this-piece, buying LEUKERAN online over the counter. No prescription LEUKERAN online, Are you saying that Dave at least sort of respectable towards Ms. Sampson, where can i order LEUKERAN without prescription. LEUKERAN from canadian pharmacy, And that the joke is really on sidekick douchebag Kalter. BUY LEUKERAN NO PRESCRIPTION, That I should not, you know, get my panties all in a twist about things, you hysterical trann--sorry, you like to be called a transgenderdamajig now, right?

Sorry, Straw Reader, you're wrong. A transgendamajig is a drink, buy generic LEUKERAN, Kjøpe LEUKERAN på nett, köpa LEUKERAN online, not a gender identity, one of the many fascinating cocktails I dreamed up while vacationing on painkillers in Thailand, LEUKERAN price, coupon. LEUKERAN australia, uk, us, usa, But you're also wrong about the joke.

Sure, true to his straightdouche persona, LEUKERAN photos, LEUKERAN duration, Dave didn't say anything spiteful about Ms. Sanders, LEUKERAN schedule. LEUKERAN over the counter, (He also called her a transgendered person, not woman, LEUKERAN coupon. Asshole.) But the joke wasn't on Kalter--it was decidedly on Ms, BUY LEUKERAN NO PRESCRIPTION. LEUKERAN dose, Sampson.

Because, you see, generic LEUKERAN, LEUKERAN gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, at heart this was a gay joke. (Amazing, LEUKERAN street price. LEUKERAN description, Letterman homophobic too. Whodathunkit?) Kalter is upset because he slept with a "man, LEUKERAN recreational, LEUKERAN results, " not a transgendered woman. At heart, online buy LEUKERAN without a prescription, this bit was calling Ms. Sanders a man.

Which is pretty much the definition of transphobia.

I of course, don't watch any of the talk shows myself--I really could care less about the latest vapid anecdote or stupid plug a celebrity comes on to talk about. (And even The Daily Show is wearing thin on me these days.) Instead, when not reading Russian novels in French or French movies in Russian, I watch Monty Python reruns. Because our world is so surreal nowadays that they seem positively normal.

January 8, 2010 by CL Minou

BUY ALPRAZOLAM NO PRESCRIPTION

Categories: Humorless Tranny™, tiger beatdown rocks, transphobia: now in blog format, your RDA of intersectionality

So Mary Daly died.

(You might have heard about it.)

BUY ALPRAZOLAM NO PRESCRIPTION, I don't have much to say about Mary Daly, really. ALPRAZOLAM blogs, I haven't read anything by her (because I am a bad feminist, or at least a lazy one, about ALPRAZOLAM, My ALPRAZOLAM experience, or at least somebody made very theory-adverse thanks to my graduate studies in English.) I'm not really sure if I'd heard her name before she died (because I am a bad...oh, you know.)

But I was utterly unsurprised to find out that she was a Second Wave radical feminist who, rx free ALPRAZOLAM, ALPRAZOLAM images, you know, hated me.

(Well, ALPRAZOLAM alternatives, Real brand ALPRAZOLAM online, one thing surprised me: she was Janice Raymond's thesis adviser. Janice Raymond, ALPRAZOLAM samples. Where can i find ALPRAZOLAM online, And no, I'm not going to link to anything about her--if you're here, after ALPRAZOLAM, Fast shipping ALPRAZOLAM, you should know about her; if you don't, use the bloody Google.)

As I said over at the ol' Tiger Beatdown today, doses ALPRAZOLAM work, ALPRAZOLAM without prescription, it's clear that Mary Daly gave a lot of women a new way of looking at the world; that in a very real sense, she liberated them, ALPRAZOLAM for sale. Buy ALPRAZOLAM online no prescription, And the glowing testimonials of people who knew her--about how generous she was with her time, how she helped other women writers and feminists, australia, uk, us, usa, Online ALPRAZOLAM without a prescription, how she created, in the truest sense of the word, ALPRAZOLAM overnight, Is ALPRAZOLAM addictive, sisterhood with her fellow women.

But I just can't be all that happy about it, because she also wanted to deny me all those things; because to Mary Daly, ALPRAZOLAM price, Buy ALPRAZOLAM from mexico, I would never have been woman or even feminist enough.

And this doesn't even touch on the criticisms Audre Lorde leveled at her of ignoring the voices of women of color except as anecdotes, a bit of "color" for a chapter mostly about white women--something Daly never publicly cleared up, ALPRAZOLAM cost, ALPRAZOLAM dosage, at least not while Lorde was alive--or her belief that the male of the species should be reverse decimated (leave one in ten alive) and those secluded in zoos.

And yet a lot of women I admire got their start in feminism with her.

And yet she thought I was a monster.

And yet she was dismissive towards women of color.

And....and what. There was a lot of good Mary Daly did, BUY ALPRAZOLAM NO PRESCRIPTION. There was a lot of bad as well, ALPRAZOLAM pharmacy. Where can i buy cheapest ALPRAZOLAM online, How do we sort this out. How can you honor the legacy of people who were noble in some ways, ALPRAZOLAM online cod, Purchase ALPRAZOLAM online, and wicked in others?

How do you make sense of human lives?

Me, I dunno; like I said, ALPRAZOLAM no rx, What is ALPRAZOLAM, I never read her. But her fame should not expunge her failings.

(And if you want a balanced, japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, no-nonsense appraisal of her good and bad, Sady has it.).

January 7, 2010 by CL Minou

PRAVACHOL FOR SALE

Categories: all about me, we apologize for the inconvenience

PRAVACHOL FOR SALE, Greetings, ducks, and Happy New Year. It's been a while, PRAVACHOL interactions, PRAVACHOL long term, I know. And I'm fine, buy PRAVACHOL without prescription, Buy PRAVACHOL without a prescription, mostly, now, purchase PRAVACHOL for sale. Order PRAVACHOL no prescription, But I wasn't before.

We don't like to talk about depression much as a culture, although to some degree we've destigmatized it: I mean, PRAVACHOL wiki, Purchase PRAVACHOL online no prescription, here in the Great American Metropolis, everyone jokes about being in therapy or on antidepressants, cheap PRAVACHOL no rx. PRAVACHOL reviews, Jokes are made; sticom plots revolve around a character's mental health; and we wonder if Ziggy had some Prozac if his life would improve and he'd finally buy some pants.

But we don't talk about it, or when we do, low dose PRAVACHOL, Taking PRAVACHOL, when we really sit down and talk about it, all the old stigmas come back, buy no prescription PRAVACHOL online. People will whisper about someone being really depressed; there's an uneasiness around the whole subject, a certain trepidation about approaching them, a certain, well, fear: of driving them to suicide, PRAVACHOL FOR SALE. Buy PRAVACHOL from canada, Of catching it yourself. I don't know.

What happened to me is that the chronic low-grade depression I've carried with me since before puberty flared up, what is PRAVACHOL, Purchase PRAVACHOL online no prescription, as it does sometimes: but first it just gradually began to increase, helped along, PRAVACHOL forum, Order PRAVACHOL online c.o.d, no doubt, by my decision to go off antidepressants over the summer, PRAVACHOL over the counter. PRAVACHOL natural, Sure, I got worse, kjøpe PRAVACHOL på nett, köpa PRAVACHOL online, PRAVACHOL interactions, but gradually, gradually, buy cheap PRAVACHOL no rx, PRAVACHOL from canadian pharmacy, and I couldn't tell how badly I was slipping, until I came back from San Francisco without a steady source of income for the first time in something like six years, where to buy PRAVACHOL. PRAVACHOL from canada, And even then, I was doing OK, PRAVACHOL pharmacy, PRAVACHOL images, because I had a line on a job that wasn't ideal but would hold me while I retrenched. PRAVACHOL FOR SALE, And I really thought I was going to get the job. Until I went up and had a horrible series of interviews.

And then I decidedly wasn't OK anymore.

Some of what happened next you no doubt can glean from my BTB post last week: I went to the psych ER, fast shipping PRAVACHOL, PRAVACHOL blogs, after a series of humiliations I got some meds that my insurance will actually cover, and if I'm not out of the woods, I can at least see the trees thinning out. And tomorrow I start a gig that while not ideal, will at least hold me while I retrench. (And keep working from home.)

But I was going to talk about my depression...and that's just it. It's so hard to talk about: if you don't have it, it's hard to understand. It's nothing like being sad, except when it is; it's nothing like feeling listless, except when it is; it's nothing like feeling hopeless, except when it is--and most of the time you feel at least some of those symptoms all at once, PRAVACHOL FOR SALE. William Styron called it a "brain storm" and that comes close, except in my case there isn't a feeling of storm like violence: just a hopelessness, a feeling that everything I do is futile, that everything is just too hard for me to accomplish and that if I were lucky, I'd just not wake up in the morning. And sometimes, sometimes you just want the pain and hopelessness to go away so badly that you think about making sure you won't wake up in the morning.

I think until you can contemplate the idea of destroying yourself--of making a permanent end to all your problems--and think it a good thing, a sensible thing, to no longer care about the pain you would inflict on others, just so long as your own would go away--until you've hit that point, then no, you don't know what depression really feels like. I've had some sort of suicidal ideation around once a month since I was at least ten years old. And I almost never think seriously about it; when I do, when I get really serious in my own mind, that's when I know to go down to a doctor and do something about it. PRAVACHOL FOR SALE, And I'm lucky: most of the time, there is something to be done, and something I can access to help me. Not everyone is so lucky.

Yet strangely enough, I don't want this post itself to be depressing. Dawn is breaking on my battered mental landscape; my Significant Other of Variable and Often Fabulous Gender spent the weekend with me, and cheered me up. I have a source of income again, and believe it or not, a line on some more interviews.

I'm writing again. And that's a light all of its own.

December 30, 2009 by CL Minou

BUY PROSOM NO PRESCRIPTION

Categories: below the belt, i get around

New Below the Belt content!

BUY PROSOM NO PRESCRIPTION, I recently had an encounter with our mental health system. (I'm fine, order PROSOM online overnight delivery no prescription. PROSOM recreational, Now.) I don't have to tell you that almost any encounter with our health system is embarrassing; that seems to be the state of American healthcare. But what do you think the frosting on my mortification cake--the little extra bit of humiliation to go with the spongy cake of being put in a room with no sharp corners and the delectable pudding filling of despair that having them take my belt away proved to be?

Having to out myself, buy generic PROSOM. Purchase PROSOM, Three times--once to the triage nurse, once to the nurse who took my vitals, PROSOM coupon, Where can i buy cheapest PROSOM online, and once to the doctor.

Avanti!. Where can i find PROSOM online. PROSOM class. PROSOM online cod. Low dose PROSOM. Where can i cheapest PROSOM online. Effects of PROSOM. Generic PROSOM. About PROSOM. PROSOM samples. PROSOM dose. Buy PROSOM from mexico. Buy PROSOM no prescription. Buy PROSOM from canada. PROSOM without prescription. PROSOM overnight. PROSOM trusted pharmacy reviews. Buy PROSOM online no prescription. Buy no prescription PROSOM online. Taking PROSOM. PROSOM duration. Rx free PROSOM. Cheap PROSOM no rx. Order PROSOM from mexican pharmacy. Online PROSOM without a prescription.

December 21, 2009 by CL Minou

BUY REGLAN NO PRESCRIPTION

Categories: adventures in transition, all about me, the tiniest violin in the world

BUY REGLAN NO PRESCRIPTION, Hola, ducks. Did you know that I'm currently between positions. Online buy REGLAN without a prescription, Yes, tis true that I work as a consultant when not writing pithy internet ramblings. But while I was out in California, buy REGLAN without a prescription, I lost my main client in a move of wonderful class upon their part. Online buying REGLAN, Wev. Anyway, did you know we are in a recession, despite what the economic gurus tell us, BUY REGLAN NO PRESCRIPTION. I sure do--I'm reminded of it daily as I watch my bank balances dwindle. And also, REGLAN description, have I mentioned that I seem to be getting depression for Christmas. REGLAN no rx, And now you are too, if you've read this far?

This is all preamble.

So, okay, where can i order REGLAN without prescription. I had an interview on Friday. BUY REGLAN NO PRESCRIPTION, Which didn't go so well...but I'm getting ahead of myself. REGLAN use, Let's start again.

So I had an interview on Friday. It was my third interview with these people, but the first one that would be face-to-face; I had survived two phone interviews prior to this, REGLAN results, and passed the little "mess around with this database" test they'd sent me with flying colors.

That in itself is an accomplishment of sorts--not the application thing, REGLAN photos, I do that for a living after all; the phone interview bit. Now, you may not know this, buy cheap REGLAN, but there's only one kind of transsexual whose voice is helped by transitioning, Is REGLAN addictive, and I am not that kind of a transsexual. Or to put it more bluntly, estrogen doesn't do anything to your voice, buying REGLAN online over the counter. (Testosterone will, so FTMs get a break there, but--as I well know--the effects are permanent.)

So back when I was transitioning--actually, just before I was sure I was going to transition--I began to work with an actress who gave voice lessons on finding a less obviously masculine way for me to talk, BUY REGLAN NO PRESCRIPTION. Not that I have anything against deep voices in women. REGLAN no prescription, Just, um, it was a way to make sure I would get outed, comprar en línea REGLAN, comprar REGLAN baratos. I didn't have a James Earl Jones bass or anything, REGLAN price, but my voice pretty clearly marked me as trans.

The best part of the experience was that I was her first trans client, so we sort of assembled our own course in how to do this out of things on the internet, a DVD I had, real brand REGLAN online, and whatever seemed to work for us. REGLAN pics, After a while, we just spent half the class talking to each other, which was a great way to get comfortable using my new voice.

Thus, REGLAN price, coupon, passing two phone interviews was not a small accomplishment.

Anyway. BUY REGLAN NO PRESCRIPTION, The face to face interview, which was not only face to face but a state away. Order REGLAN no prescription, And potentially guarded my economic future. After being so confident on the phone interviews, I suddenly found myself...inadequate, buy REGLAN online cod. Because:

--I needed a new suit, Cheap REGLAN, since I'd gained some weight.

--Jeez, skirt or slacks. What was more appropriate, is REGLAN safe.

--It turns out I needed a new suit that was two sizes larger than I normally wear, because I've gained so much weight, BUY REGLAN NO PRESCRIPTION. Sigh.

--I began to worry: would I come on too aggressive?

--I began to worry: would I not be aggressive enough?

--Or too feminine?

--Or not feminine enough?

--Or for that matter, REGLAN reviews, would they immediately think I was trans?

--Or pull a credit bureau on me and know I was trans (I've been lazy about getting every account I own fixed.)

--Even if they hired me, would they hit me with the "female discount"?

--Do they want a woman in their IT department?

--Was I just the "diversity interview"?

Now, ducks, REGLAN dosage, I know a lot of my female readers are somewhere between bemusement and rage at going over that list. REGLAN mg, I know it sounds whiny. It is whiny. But let me just say: I knew all this stuff going in, japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, and I decided to transition anyway. BUY REGLAN NO PRESCRIPTION, I don't have any regrets about that, and I'm not saying I should have any special treatment.

But. REGLAN street price, This was the first time a lot of these things hit home for me all at once. And it was definitely a different experience for me to think of this stuff before an interview. (Also, REGLAN maximum dosage, I should note that I hadn't been on a serious interview in over six years--advantage to consulting--so there was that factor as well.) And the inadequacy I felt...was pretty massive. REGLAN long term, There was so much to be afraid of, so many traps I felt like I could blunder into just based on how I looked.

And you, my beloved female ducks, REGLAN pictures, are more than welcome to chorus "Duh!" in my general direction right now. And I deserve it.

Anyway, as far as all that stuff went, I think things went fine--I looked professional, I don't think anyone read me, and I think I struck the right amount of aggression/femininity/whatever, BUY REGLAN NO PRESCRIPTION. It was the tech questions I whiffed on that probably sunk me. So there you have it.

But at least it was beautiful out in the snow today--the sky a hazy pastel blue at sunset, the air clear and all edges sharp-edged, the snow that light twilit blue you get at sunset. That helps. Even if it won't pay the rent.