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I want to thank all of you who have dropped by, and especially all of you who left such nice comments here, ALERAM pharmacy. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, Starting a blog again was something that I did with some trepidation, and your encouragement has really been so lovely.

I had trepidation because part of my "process" (no, ALERAM description, ALERAM images, thank you, Anonymous!) is figuring out exactly how much my transness is going to be integrated with the rest of my life, ALERAM maximum dosage, ALERAM without prescription, and starting a blog where I was so open about it (albeit with personal details obscured) seemed to have the potential to swallow my life up again. After so, buy cheap ALERAM, ALERAM australia, uk, us, usa, so many years where my transness was a constant, overriding distraction to my life, ALERAM samples, Doses ALERAM work, I really wanted to just try being a woman for a while.

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As a film buff, I've watched my fair share of horror films, BUY OVRAL NO PRESCRIPTION. The vast majority boil down to either stalker or torture porn, OVRAL price, OVRAL dosage, of course, with tons of women in various stages of undress being voyeuristically hunted down, buy OVRAL without a prescription. OVRAL street price, Even if the trend lately is towards making the woman the hero, letting her ultimately triumph (for example, OVRAL from canadian pharmacy, Cheap OVRAL, the American remake of The Ring or the original Halloween), you can be sure that she'll first go through a degradation that no male hero would be forced to undergo, purchase OVRAL for sale. After OVRAL, This is true of even the best of the bunch, such as the Scream franchise, order OVRAL from United States pharmacy, OVRAL class, which featured a woman hero who was easily the most capable character in all the films, or the solid-B movie The Descent, ordering OVRAL online, OVRAL long term, which at least featured a main cast of women who did things (like whitewater rafting, caving, kjøpe OVRAL på nett, köpa OVRAL online, OVRAL gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, and fending off cannibalistic subhuman cave dwellers), even if it did find room for the death of a child, cheap OVRAL, OVRAL for sale, a murderous catfight, and the heroine killing a mother and child--your basic smorgasbord of Hollywood misogyny.

I'm really baffled by why the News thought this was a good idea, canada, mexico, india, Order OVRAL from United States pharmacy, though of course not surprised. We do live, where can i buy cheapest OVRAL online, OVRAL pictures, as Liss McEwan put it yesterday, "in a rape-soaked culture" so I guess putting images of anguished women shrieking in terror on your web site is just giving the public what it wants.

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Here's the deal: gay men call people ducks; women do not. Consider it part of the process to remove that word from your vocabulary, order LOPID online overnight delivery no prescription. LOPID samples, Please.
Now, I got defensive when I first read this, no prescription LOPID online, LOPID schedule, but then I thought: hey, maybe Anonymous has a point; I mean, LOPID no prescription, Rx free LOPID, I've gotten all sorts of good advice from anonymous folks before, from "Duck!" (oops) to "suck my..."--well maybe that last wasn't such good advice, LOPID dosage. But you get the picture.

As I said in my response, I do all kinds of things on this blog I don't do in regular life, from talking about my vagina to using complex analogies about the kyriarchy, BUY LOPID NO PRESCRIPTION. LOPID duration, (I do, however, doses LOPID work, Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, bore folks with feminist analyses of French peri-impressionism.) I'll confess to adopting Winged Water Fowl as a greeting as part of the quasi-folksy style I affect in the lighter posts hereabouts. At the very least, buy no prescription LOPID online, My LOPID experience, I figured I might be remembered as that "crazy lady who calls everyone Mallards."

But I'd hate to slow my process; I'm not sure what that means, but it sure sounds bad, LOPID treatment. Comprar en línea LOPID, comprar LOPID baratos, Seeing as it's a slow day here at TSA (I spent most of it writing a proposal for a--I hope--largish client), I thought I would put it out there for you, order LOPID from mexican pharmacy, LOPID canada, mexico, india, du...er, wigeons: should I stop using That Word and call everybody something serious, is LOPID safe, Herbal LOPID, like Fellow Denizens of the Feminist and Transfeminist blogospheres. I leave it to you!

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BUY ALERAM NO PRESCRIPTION, Hello ducks. If you are like me, ALERAM dose, Online buying ALERAM hcl, you watch television. (Actually, purchase ALERAM online no prescription, Buy ALERAM online no prescription, if you are like me, you watch too much television--stop it, ALERAM steet value. Buy generic ALERAM, It's keeping you from doing better things, like read this blog!) And if, ALERAM interactions, ALERAM mg, like me, you watch too much TV, ALERAM over the counter, Buy ALERAM no prescription, then you've probably seen commercials for the next great man-child movie, The Hangover.

Of course, ALERAM wiki, Where can i find ALERAM online, it may be difficult to pick out this new film from the constant swirl of frattish comedies--after all, it's Judd Apatow's world now, about ALERAM, ALERAM without prescription, we just live in it. Never fear, ALERAM coupon, Purchase ALERAM online, though, ducks, purchase ALERAM for sale. The New York Times, in its ongoing mission of reminding us that all the news fit to print is by, for, and about men, has an article about The Hangover's creator, Todd Phillips.

In fact, the article makes Mr, BUY ALERAM NO PRESCRIPTION. ALERAM online cod, Phillips out to be some sort of seer to the doucheoisie, a sort of guru of the frat boy picture, ALERAM trusted pharmacy reviews. Low dose ALERAM, (In fact, one of his first movies was called, ALERAM pharmacy, Online buy ALERAM without a prescription, um, Frat House.) Mr, ALERAM natural. ALERAM pics, Phillips, in case you didn't know, where to buy ALERAM, Is ALERAM addictive, is the auteur behind Old School, Road Trip, generic ALERAM, ALERAM maximum dosage, and Starsky and Hutch. (Disclosure: I actually enjoyed the last one for the chemistry between Stiller and Wilson, buy ALERAM from mexico. BUY ALERAM NO PRESCRIPTION, I'm not perfect, ducks.) All in all, he has a portfolio that makes him the Apatow-lite, a secondary purveyor of the immature bromance.

Never fear, though: The Times breathlessly reports:

That doesn’t mean “The Hangover” can’t aspire to be the most grown-up work in Mr. ALERAM brand name, Phillips’s unapologetically immature portfolio.
Well, that's a relief--not the least because he doesn't apologize for his movies. No, Todd Phillips is proud of his films. He wants you to squirm while watching--that is, if you are not an immature man-child (or at least aspire to be one.)

But wait. He's not content for simple metaphysical torture--at least, where his actors are concerned:
Mr. Phillips does not always get his way, BUY ALERAM NO PRESCRIPTION. For a scene in which a police officer tests his stun gun on the guys, the director wanted his actors to be shot with a live Taser. “He goes, ‘Look at these clips on YouTube,’ ” Mr. Galifianakissaid. “ ‘It doesn’t hurt that much.’ And then the Warner Brothers lawyers stepped in, thank God.”
Well, there's always next time--and given advances in technology, perhaps within a few years he'll be able to tase the audience as well. BUY ALERAM NO PRESCRIPTION, Oh, think of the laughter we'll have. Between the blackouts, that is.

Let's give the last word to Todd, before he uses that darn taser again:
...[W]hen he tries to describe the plots of his films concisely, Mr. Phillips said recently, “the one-liners on my movies sound really retarded.” He chuckled briefly at his own analysis. “The movies, ideally, are better than they sound,” he added.
Speak for yourself, Mr. Phillips.

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Over at Shakesville there's a heartwarming post about an openly gay student who was elected prom queen BUY VANTIN NO PRESCRIPTION, . Buy VANTIN without a prescription, (You can read the original story here.)

I'm certainly glad to know that a high school can be so accepting; the idea of a student being openly gay at my high school was unthinkable, and that was only--well, australia, uk, us, usa, Purchase VANTIN, more than a decade ago. And I'm really happy that Sergio Garcia can be open, VANTIN use, Buy VANTIN online cod, and be himself.

All that said, I'm afraid I have to be a bit of a wet blanket about this, VANTIN alternatives. VANTIN from mexico, Call me a Humorles Tranny™, but I as a trans woman I see a few complications with this whole thing.

First, order VANTIN online c.o.d, Where can i buy VANTIN online, I have to wonder: would somebody who was openly trans have been elected prom queen. (Maybe; it happened in Fresno.) Then there is the question of why somebody who doesn't identify as female is even running for prom queen, VANTIN used for. According to the article, "He thought the role [of prom queen] would suit him better than prom king." Yeah--isn't that kind of the point, BUY VANTIN NO PRESCRIPTION. VANTIN forum, I mean, if he had been elected prom king, VANTIN from canadian pharmacy, VANTIN price, if the student body would have been happy to put him into that bastion of heterosexism, then you might have something to really talk about.

According to the article, online VANTIN without a prescription, VANTIN results, his campaign began as a stunt "but ended up spurring discussion on the campus about gender roles and popularity." Which is really wonderful--we need to have these discussions, especially in high school--but I can't help feeling that it remained something of a stunt til the end.

For example, VANTIN price, coupon, Online buying VANTIN, the article repeatedly makes it clear that despite running for prom queen, Sergio is all man.

"[I'm] not your typical prom queen candidate, real brand VANTIN online. VANTIN reviews, There's more to me than meets
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Call me oversensitive, but I see a lot of subtle trans- and femmephobia in there, taking VANTIN. VANTIN recreational, There's the clear implication that if he were to wear a dress, that would be somehow wrong, buy cheap VANTIN no rx. VANTIN no rx, His "more than meets the eye" clearly echoes trans stereotypes in the media, from porn to movies, VANTIN cost. Fast shipping VANTIN, And fuckall, how am I supposed to read how he doesn't want to be a girl--yet runs for prom queen--as anything other than the idea that a boy who did want to be a girl and run for prom queen would be weird, VANTIN photos, as opposed to his decidedly non-weird candidacy?

I'm sorry to be coming down so hard on this kid; truth be told, I'm happy that he won, happy he goes to a school that's so accepting, and happy that the reporting on the story doesn't smirk or treat the whole thing as ridiculous.

But compare this nice, respectful story about a clean-cut gay kid who gets to be prom queen with this (triggery) piece about a nice, respectful trans kid who gets elected prom queen. Thrill to the wondrous transphobia: the refusal to use her preferred name (Crystal), the emphasis on her height in heels (cause, you know, she's totes a dude in drag), and fuckitall, the unconscionable refusal to use her preferred pronoun--even after noting she prefers to be called she. You read that story--picked up without comment on a website whose mission statement is "To encourage a world where globalization is not about homogeneity and exploitation, but rather, about diversity and cooperation"--and, if you are like me, you get pissed off and throw a wet blanket on somebody else's party.

Because seriously, great for you Sergio, but am I really supposed to be happy that a guy took another woman's job, even if that job is stupid and heterosexist to begin with.

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MEGA HOODIA FOR SALE, Warning: some of the links below may be triggery, as I went to the originals.

The Sotomayor nomination has once again driven the white male protestant establishment--who after all suffer from the greatest discrimination--in an uproar. And as usual a new coded language emerges--Sotomayor is a "bully" for dressing down (male) lawyers, buy MEGA HOODIA from canada, Effects of MEGA HOODIA, that she got her nomination thanks to affirmative action, and, MEGA HOODIA maximum dosage, Doses MEGA HOODIA work, of course, she's not qualified.

The idea that the white guys might be biased against everybody but white guys is of course ignored.

That is, MEGA HOODIA description, Is MEGA HOODIA safe, of course, the gift of privilege--the ability to ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist, generic MEGA HOODIA. Order MEGA HOODIA online overnight delivery no prescription, White men are "normal" in this country--anybody not a white guy is a "minority" even though white men--and men in general--are the real minority in this country.

One of the things about being trans is that it has the potential to help you visualize your privilege, especially if you were, MEGA HOODIA interactions, MEGA HOODIA over the counter, like me, a white male crossdresser--outside I looked no different than any other guy (well, what is MEGA HOODIA, MEGA HOODIA photos, except for the groomed eyebrows and long fingernails), but I knew that if anyone knew about my inner life, MEGA HOODIA blogs, MEGA HOODIA coupon, I'd immediately lose my "normal" status.

Not everybody makes use of this opportunity. I've met incredibly chauvanistic crossdressers--and even transsexuals aren't immune; I've encountered many who were so busy sandcastling their privilege that they try to deny the womanhood of other transpeople, cheap MEGA HOODIA no rx. Online buy MEGA HOODIA without a prescription, (Warning: super-triggery.)

(I'd be on their list for fessing to having identified as a crossdresser.)

Those who do, however, where to buy MEGA HOODIA, Comprar en línea MEGA HOODIA, comprar MEGA HOODIA baratos, learn an important truth: that "normal" can't live in the abscence of "abnormal"--that there always has to be some shadowy Other who opposes all your basic values. The shock of those people of privilege--like myself--who realize that their transness has made them that Other can often lead them to feel solidarity with all the other Others, MEGA HOODIA schedule. Order MEGA HOODIA from mexican pharmacy, (Perhaps this is why trans people still support lesbian and gay rights even after one of the largest gay rights groups threw us cruelly under the bus during the ENDA fiasco last year.)

Privilege is afraid of diversity, because it forces it to confront the Other; privilege hides in the language that underprivileged people use in order to subject them to ridicule; privilege, purchase MEGA HOODIA online, MEGA HOODIA wiki, in short, is nothing else than fear of the Other, canada, mexico, india, Where can i find MEGA HOODIA online, of losing that which didn't belong to it in the first place, of having, MEGA HOODIA reviews, MEGA HOODIA cost, in other words, "normal" become normal--a world where our various diversities of race, MEGA HOODIA from mexico, MEGA HOODIA without a prescription, gender, religion, MEGA HOODIA mg, MEGA HOODIA canada, mexico, india, sexuality are no more important than our diversities in favorite sports team or ice cream flavors.

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The other day she met a new member of the studio where she makes her art, IMITREX duration. Buying IMITREX online over the counter, They got to talking, and he mentioned that he had a dealer and was doing very well, IMITREX australia, uk, us, usa. IMITREX online cod, (She later verified that via Google.) Now, like many artists (and bloggers), IMITREX treatment, IMITREX trusted pharmacy reviews, Viola is ambitious about her art and was immediately intrigued--and interested in how she might be able to network with this guy.

As they talked, he told her that he was putting together a group of artists and wondered if she might want to join, fast shipping IMITREX. Of course she was interested, but--being a person of fierce integrity--she made sure to show him her work first, IMITREX FOR SALE. About IMITREX, They talked for a while and agreed that her work really wouldn't work with the rest of the show--but, the guy asked, buy IMITREX no prescription, IMITREX class, could she throw some vessels for him. And it gradually dawned on Viola that all he wanted was her to make a lot of vessels for him to paint.

I find it strangely apt that this--let's be fair--clueless tool would want her to make vessels for him, cheap IMITREX. Online IMITREX without a prescription, (Presumably narrow-necked for maximum--never mind.) I won't belabor the obvious: that for centuries women have been seen as nothing but vessels for men--convenient receptacles for them to empty their important, creative work into--a holding pen for their serious ideas to gestate.

You don't have to be a radical feminist to see that the idea of women being the non-creative side of birth as being a bit skewed.

Viola turned him down, low dose IMITREX, Purchase IMITREX online no prescription, for reasons both practical--she's far too out of practice to make pots quickly with the quality she'd want--and personal: the guy was being completely exploitative of her. Because she's quite capable of making her own art, IMITREX natural, Buy IMITREX from mexico, thanks, and has no desire to be this guy's vessel.

But hearing the story from her made me think about art, order IMITREX from United States pharmacy, IMITREX street price, and my art (if that's what I'm doing here is), and women in art, order IMITREX online c.o.d. My favorite painting in the entire world is Manet's Le dejeuner sur l'herbe (The Luncheon on the Grass):

























IMITREX FOR SALE, It hangs in the Musée d'Orsay in Paris, and I always make a point of visiting it whenever I'm there; the canvas is enormous, and the vibrancy of the light--it never comes through in prints--is astonishing and always makes me smile.

But as much as I love this painting, being who I have become I can't help but notice that it sums up attitudes towards women that sadly weren't abandoned to the 19th century. Online buying IMITREX, That is, the only two roles available were the the object of the artist's gaze--the nude woman in the foreground--or supporter, IMITREX without prescription, IMITREX price, like the woman who is bathing in the background. Both fundamentally passive roles; how few of the works of the great masters show women doing anything other than, herbal IMITREX, Australia, uk, us, usa, perhaps, resisting the rape of an overly amorous Olympian?

Of course, no prescription IMITREX online, IMITREX forum, you can go another layer. The nude woman in Le dejeuner sur l'herbe is Manet's longtime model, Victorine Meurent (though in an early example of Photoshopping, that's her head on a more voluptuous model's body.) Meurent was the model for Manet's notorious Olympia, and that painting's shocking subject--it certainly seems to depict a courtesan--led people to conclude, wrongly, that she herself must have been a prostitute.

In fact, she was an artist, and a successful one at that--she exhibited several times at the Salon des Artistes--although only one painting of hers is conclusively known to survive. In later life she was inducted into Societé des Artistes Françaises. She called herself an artist until she died.

I think of Victorine Meurent--the famous half smile, head tilted up in disdain or arch condescension--knowing that the gaze of the Great Man was falling on her and not demuring; bold, passionate yet tempered, willing to fight for her art and even sacrifice her own image in order to get the training she needed. I think of this Object who dared to be her own Subject, a woman born too early, perhaps, and yet still remaining as an enigmatic reminder that history is not always what They tell us it is. I think of her, and Viola, and vessels and painters, models and sculptors. And I write.

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Categories: all about me, teh tranz, This Was My Life, tv (trans)

BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, Once I knew a crossdresser named Monica. This was several years ago, when I was a regular in the transgender demimonde--the curious collection of repurposed-for-a-night bars and "safe" restaurants we frequented on the weekends. Given that most people in this world were closeted, Buy PRAVACHOL without prescription, or like me, semi-closeted--I was out to all the important people in my life, but the idea of going out in public during the day was still too frightening--and this was their one chance to "go out" (that's how we said it, too: "I'm going out this weekend" meant going somewhere crossdressed), after a while you got to know the regulars, is PRAVACHOL addictive, the ones that were there every week: that girl who always wore pleather fetish outfits; the married couple that dropped in so the husband could dance and flirt with guys while the wife got wrecked at the bar; the very pretty, I-can't-believe-she's-forty crossdresser who had once run her own trans themed party but now was limited to a few nights out a month because she had a young kid.

Over time, Monica and I became close friends; I even saw her male self a few times, PRAVACHOL dosage, and later on she got to see mine when I invited her to my birthday. We both agreed that these "parties" were nothing more than an extension of the closet; we deplored together the awful dance music the hostesses played (not that it would have mattered much: it is a curious fact that most of the white, middle-aged CDs I knew didn't like to dance); we longed for something more than the desultory anomie of these Saturday nights, but neither of us was ready yet to try to do anything more.

Not everyone who came to these parties was a crossdresser. Some wives and girlfriends came, PRAVACHOL from canadian pharmacy, whose expressions ran the gamut from pie-eyed terror to exhilarated joy. We always looked at these women with curiousity, scarcely allowing ourselves to believe that it was possible to find a woman who could deal with--with all this, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. There were also the trannie chasers. They were a hard crew to figure out--perhaps because most of them were having a hard time figuring out their own attraction. PRAVACHOL alternatives, Some wanted to crossdress but couldn't face their own fears; some wanted to suck a dick attached to something feminine, to mitigate their attraction to male genitalia; and a few just seemed to be turned on by trans bodies. The greater part of them were very shy, standing with their backs to the wall or the bar, always looking just slightly uncomfortable.

We all looked down on the chasers.

There was one group that we looked up to, buy generic PRAVACHOL, though: the transsexuals. BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, Relatively few ever came out to these nights, which somehow made us respect them more--they had done it, they had transitioned and they didn't need an extended closet to be women in. A few did come by, though, PRAVACHOL dose, out of nostalgia, or maladjustment to their new lives; out of friendship for other transgendered people who hadn't transitioned, or out of a need for a safe space as they first began their transitions; out of curiosity or empathy or condescension. They fascinated us. These were people that were more than just women for the weekend; they were women period now, where can i cheapest PRAVACHOL online, and their stories haunted and attracted us.

For a lot of crossdressers, the idea of transition is something that you never really ever let go of. I think this may be because as a transgendered person, PRAVACHOL for sale, you want to be the opposite sex, even if it is only for a little while; so to deny that you would want to transition is to deny that you want to be a woman, which is what you really do want to do. It's all highly confusing, and I think that was one of the reasons we sought out transsexuals: to find our boundaries, to compare stories and see where they were different, to listen to the struggles they had undergone in order to transition and silently do a secret accounting of our own lives and wonder if the price we'd pay would actually be worth it in the end.

But we were told--or at least we had heard--that there were real differences between crossdressers and transsexuals; that crossdressers never transitioned, that transsexuals were in such pain from their gender inconsonance that they had no other choice but to transition, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. And we believed those stories, crossdressers and transsexuals alike; we crossdressers told our wives and girlfriends that we weren't destined to transition, buy no prescription PRAVACHOL online, and transsexuals told the world that they weren't just men who liked to wear women's clothing.

There was one transsexual who was a regular. I didn't really know why Ingrid kept coming (and after a while, she just didn't), PRAVACHOL from canada, but I guess she fit into the category of people who were starting transition and needed a place to get their bearings. We were friendly, and used to talk politics and Japanese martial arts and the American songbook--she had a lovely voice and sometimes would sing a few bars of Cole Porter.

One thing about Ingrid did bother me, though: she didn't like Monica. Or rather, buy cheap PRAVACHOL, she thought she was a mess, directionless, and misguided. BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, Now, truth be told, Monica's hairstyle was out of the Marilyn Quayle school of immobility, her clothing choices were pretty drab and uninspired, and her shoes--well, it's best not to talk about them. Where can i buy PRAVACHOL online, I had myself recently graduated from my evening-wear phase, when I would wear gowns and formal dresses out to bars and had started to dress in a fashion that I thought a woman of my age might dress. So that gave me license to be a bit of a snob, and I am ashamed to say that sometimes I snarked right along with Ingrid.

In the trans community, people tend to be judged on a scale that I will call--borrowing it from the world of drag--realness, ordering PRAVACHOL online. This isn't surprising, given that the very drive that defines us as transgendered is to be the opposite sex. Realness is a troubling term, PRAVACHOL price, coupon, though. It's not that it's inaccurate--it very accurately describes the attitudes I usually encountered, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. But we made "realness" mean the same thing as "authenticity"--we based our perceptions of you as a person on how close you were to this ideal of "womanhood." Thus, people who wore everyday clothes were superior to people who wear fetishistic clothes; people who lived as women were better than people who only crossdressed on the weekend; people who had had the surgery were better than people who hadn't, or didn't want to.

Wearing pants was even somehow better than wearing a skirt--because real women didn't wear skirts all the time. (Neither do crossdressers in their everyday lives, PRAVACHOL pictures, but making that point hardly helped their case.) In fact, it was a bitter joke amongst us that if you started to show up wearing pants, it meant you were bound to eventually transition.

If I would sometimes put Monica down, Taking PRAVACHOL, I also defended her; I would point out that she was one of the sweetest, kindest people I knew, and that went a lot further with me than her fashion sense; and in any case, the more she came out, the better she looked, PRAVACHOL dangers. But no matter; Ingrid thought she was a hopeless case, and Ingrid was a woman of firmly-held convictions.

Besides, Monica and I were both crossdressers, PRAVACHOL forum, and so clearly didn't know what we were talking about.

It's been a long time since I was a regular in that world, and I've learned quite a bit since then. One thing that I learned is that I wanted to transition, that the bright lines I had drawn were a lie; crossdressers really did transition. BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, That led me to question other things, to wonder if being a transsexual actually made you more real; or was it that, crossdressers were perfectly real crossdressers. And that somehow, order PRAVACHOL online c.o.d, that wasn't wrong or something to put people down about. On one of my last trips out to one of these parties, I was sitting at the bar, PRAVACHOL online cod, silently smirking at this or that poorly-done outfit, when an elderly crossdresser came in. Her dress looked terrible on her, her lipstick was as crooked as a Vermont dirt road, and her wig was haphazardly clinging to the top of her head, PRAVACHOL long term. But when I looked more closely, I could see the pure joy in her eyes, the incredible relief at being able to finally express this part of herself. And my smirk died a cold death on my face and I--I in my careful makeup and fashionable clothes--I was ashamed.

Since then I've learned much more about feminism and power structures; I see now that what we saw as realness was nothing else than judging people on their looks; that people have the right to define their own gender/personality/womanhood however they want to, and that makes it as real as anyone else's, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. PRAVACHOL samples, I learned, too, how often it is in underprivileged communities that heirarchies arise, tiny parodies of the larger, oppressive order, PRAVACHOL canada, mexico, india. I learned that trans people were hardly alone in equating realness with authenticity; everywhere I looked among the various underprivileged communities I encountered--female, feminist, people of color--I saw the same pattern of holding other members of your group up to your own personal ideal, Buying PRAVACHOL online over the counter, and then calling them out on how far they fell short of it. People complained about it; long and bitter struggles took place with each faction trying to prove their authenticity to each other. And yet the patterns persisted, over and over and over again.

I last saw Monica four years ago, on my birthday, buy generic PRAVACHOL. BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION, She wore a tasteful leather suit, a short wig, and perfect makeup--she looked, in short, the very model of a still-rockin' suburban woman in her 40s. She had begun to play electric guitar--she was a huge Kiss fan--and had even done her own drag act in Las Vegas. She was still one of the sweetest people I have ever met. And she seemed very happy.

I ran into Ingrid about a year later at a Julia Serrano reading. Purchase PRAVACHOL online no prescription, By that point I was well into my own transition; in fact, outside of onsite visits to my clients, I presented as female all the time. Ingrid, on the other hand, seemed to be much as I had last known her; she was presenting as male that day, which surprised me--it had been five years since I'd seen her last, I thought she'd have gone fulltime by then.

I wondered if she still though Monica was a mess, BUY PRAVACHOL NO PRESCRIPTION. If she, and me, kjøpe PRAVACHOL på nett, köpa PRAVACHOL online, were still wedded to our fantasy heirarchies, our own petite power trips. I still wonder that about myself.

Despite our internecine conflicts, PRAVACHOL dosage, we still manage to gain a victory and then all of us move forward: sissies can get married just the same as the straightest-acting modern Mattachinist; the woman who clutched her pearls until her hands bled got to vote the same as a bloomers-wearing suffragist; and maybe, just maybe, one day crossdressers and transsexuals will both be able to pee in peace.

We are like children on the beach, building little sandcastles, while above us the guns of a real fort threaten our lives, PRAVACHOL alternatives. And yet, rather than march together on that fort, we bicker over how grand our sandcastles are, how much better they arethan other people's, how beautiful, how necessary, how safe. And so we will stay until these sandcastle virtues are all swept away.

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Categories: let's hear it for the ladies, teh tranz, This Was My Life, tiger beatdown rocks, vive le feminisme, why i blog

AVAPRO FOR SALE, "When I sit down to write a book, I do not say to myself, 'I am going to produce a work of art.' I write it because there is some lie I want to expose, some fact to which I want to draw attention, and my initial concern is to get a hearing. But I could not do the work of writing a book, Online AVAPRO without a prescription, or even a long magazine article, if it were not also an aesthetic experience."

--George Orwell, "Why I Write"

I want to thank everyone who dropped by in the last day or so--it is a remarkable experience to see your page views jump 9, AVAPRO treatment,500%, AVAPRO street price, even if it is humbling to consider how few visits you got beforehand. (Especial thanks, of course, AVAPRO price, coupon, to Sady of Tiger Beatdown who gave this blog a rave review.)

I am still figuring out not only what this blog's subject matter will be but also how to live a feminist life. AVAPRO gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, I've talked before about how I slowly awakened into a feminist consciousness, and then found myself roused a second time as a result of my transition. But I don't think I've conveyed the profoundness of the changes I've experienced in the last--can it be so short?--16 months.

I think I was always some sort of weak-valence feminist, no prescription AVAPRO online. My mother may not have used the term for herself, for some reason, but she definitely believed women should have all the rights of men, AVAPRO FOR SALE. She's told me over the years how she prefers the conversation of men of her generation, Where to buy AVAPRO, because she dislikes the domestic subjects most women of her age engage in--perhaps an over broad generalization on her part, but there is no question that she felt she had the right to engage in the traditionally male spheres of politics, religion, AVAPRO recreational, social policy, Fast shipping AVAPRO, etc. Certainly my father was like-minded; neither of them gave their children any hogwash about "proper" gender roles.

So I grew up about as gender-blind as a boy in the 1970s could be, or at least a boy in the 1970s who was conscious of wanting to be a girl, my AVAPRO experience, or at least wearing girls' clothing--I wasn't always sure of the difference, AVAPRO pharmacy, early on. (When I was maybe four or five, I sometimes would run up to the mirror in my bedroom in the morning hoping I'd been changed into a girl overnight, online buying AVAPRO. Sometimes--sometimes I would delay getting out of bed, AVAPRO reviews, hiding under the covers in order to hold myself in some sort of Schrödingian state of not-maleness, trying to hold on to the desperate possibility of transformation. AVAPRO FOR SALE, That there was a way to collapse the waveform without using a mirror never occurred to me; so you can see that the distinction between being a girl and dressing like one wasn't particularly clear to me yet. And that I was a very weird little boy, buy AVAPRO from canada. But you'd probably gathered that already.)

I think by the time I knew what a feminist was I had no problem describing myself as one--at least as far as my understanding of what a "feminist" was anyway; I had heard it meant that you believed in women's rights--I was ignorant of the larger controversies. AVAPRO pics, Perhaps that was a good thing; I was generally incredulous of people who didn't call themselves feminists--it seemed ludicrous to deny that women were people just as good as men, as outdated as racial prejudice, which my parents had strenuously sanitized from our upbringing.

That is not to say that I was some Kwisatz Haderach of gender-studies, AVAPRO schedule, the result of some cabalistic breeding program perhaps founded by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Dr. AVAPRO steet value, Blackwell. Like most men of my position--and I'll call myself that for the purposes of this post, even though there are some issues in applying without qualification the label of "man" for what I was--I was largely unconscious of my privilege, and I picked up the usual assortment of stereotypes, falsities, foolishnesses and outright idiocies, AVAPRO FOR SALE. Some were survival tactics--if you walk amidst the world of men without the courage to show your real self, you learn how to camoflouge yourself--some were simple artifacts of my time and gender, AVAPRO coupon, and some were just stupid blindspots. AVAPRO dose, I didn't believe in any of the idiocies I sometimes mouthed--the occasional misogynistic/homophobic/even, god help me, racist joke--but neither did I believe particularly strongly in the opposite positions, AVAPRO brand name, at least not strongly enough to protest very loud. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, I had no courage of my convictions; being all-in was terrifying to me; I was, in short, your garden-variety fauxgressive.

I am deeply ashamed of all that today.

The first signs of any changes happened during my marriage, after AVAPRO, which I know I have not talked about before. Where can i find AVAPRO online, My wife and I had suffered through a few years of tearful impasse about my transness--this was back when I still identified as a crossdresser--only to come to a fairly reasonable accomodation. AVAPRO FOR SALE, She sometimes would come with me to dinners and social events with other trans people, and in turn I was experimenting with metrosexuality and ways to enjoy my masculinity. During this time I met helen boyd and began to learn about feminism beyond my lukewarm "women's rights" position.

It was the beginning of the 21st century, Bush was in office, low dose AVAPRO, political oppression was in the air, Get AVAPRO, and I was reading Backlash and The Beauty Myth and for the first time really waking up to the misogyny all around me. Yet my motivation was complex...part of it was the realization that as a crossdresser, a person who sympathized with women, AVAPRO description, who saw myself at least in part as a woman, AVAPRO from mexico, I needed to go beyond the trappings of feminity and learn about the real experiences of women; part of it was meeting bold, feminist women and listening to their stories; and part of it was the progressiveness and liberalism that I found myself taking up now that they were threatened. Even so, buy AVAPRO from mexico, while my passion for feminism grew to a white-hot passion, AVAPRO duration, it was still an intellectual passion--at root, I could always take solace in my disconnection from it on an everyday level.

A young trans woman of my acquaintance once asked me about life as a woman. She had been reading my diatribes against transphobia and misogyny on a message board we both belonged to, AVAPRO from canada, and wanted to know, was it really so bad. Was she really going to feel constantly oppressed?

No, I said, it wasn't so bad--but the thing is, once I had transitioned, I never had to seek out misogyny again. Before transition, I could ignore it, I needed people to point it out to me--but after transition, I see it constantly, AVAPRO FOR SALE. And that changed everything; I was shorn of my detatchment; the political became truly personal, and awoke my outrage.

And that is the essence of the second awakening. I cannot claim to know, to feel what it is like to have been the target of misogyny my whole life; I'm not sure I can even claim to know what it's like to feel transphobia my whole life--it is difficult to make evaluations like that when you're in the closet. I have no doubt that I will make a lot of mistakes in the future as I continue my mission to discover what a feminist life will look like for me. Which is why I am so glad for the women I've found in the feminist blogosphere, for Liss and her Shakers, for Pam and her Blenders, and especially for Sady and her Beatdowns--because it was Sady who gave me the template for the kind of blog I wanted to write, one that was mostly impersonal (I am anonymous, after all) but still came from a deeply personal place of passion and outrage, to create something that wasn't just reportage or even opinion, but my own work of art, a monument to my implacable fury.

I'm still learning. But I'm thankful to have you along for the ride.

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