So Bil Browning posted a non-apology apology over at Bilerico and mumbled the usual things about wanting challenging posts, noted they had run stuff from ex-gay activists, made a typical mistake about the meaning of “safe space” (hint: it’s not a space where no one disagrees, it’s a space where people don’t get attacked based on who they are as a person rather than what they believe or do.) But let’s take Bil at face value: he wants challenging posts, and I’d certainly still like to write for Bilerico. Let’s see if this post would run there:
What is a homosexual? Well, there are two sorts who seem to be covered by the name, the gay guys and girls so good at portraying cartoon imitations of straight people, and queers, the folks who report that from an early age they’ve acted in ways that don’t look like how normal boys and girls act. Despite the equipment they were born with that belies their assertions, they say they are really attracted to men or really attracted to women.
What does it mean to be really attracted to a man or a woman? Since it’s not just about genitalia, it must be about personality, and what, one asks, is a male or a female personality? Even transsexual people nowadays concede that some men have attractions to men in ways thought to be exclusive to women, and some women have attractions to women in the sort that used to be thought exclusive to men. And transsexuals have always known that people of the same gender can be very different from each other. Isn’t it true that those we form mated relationships with are always complementary – even polar opposites – to ourselves?
Let me state it categorically. There is no such thing as a gay or lesbian personality. Personality is not a function of sexuality.
So where does that put the concept of homosexuality? In my view, down the tubes! And that leaves the further questions of how homosexuals got to think the way they do, and what to do to resolve their dilemmas. I hope I’ll be forgiven for rejecting as just plain silly the idea that some cosmic accident just turned these people into queers. What happened, more than likely, is that, from an early age, when they discovered that their personalities didn’t jibe with who little boys and girls are supposed to be attracted to, they just assumed they mustn’t be real straight little boys and girls–when in fact they’re just real transsexual boys and girls, and a sex-change is the natural and correct way for them to express this side of themselves.
So, parents of such little boys and girls, do not take them to the psychiatrist and treat them like they’re suffering from some sort of illness. Explain to them that, whatever the other kids say, real little girls attracted to boys, and real little boys are attracted to girls. And make sure the teachers are on the same page.
As for adults struggling with what to do about their feelings, I’d tell them too to stay away from the psychiatrists – those prime reinforcers of sexuality stereotypes – and remind them that whatever they’re feeling, or feel like doing, it’s perfectly possible with the sexuality everyone else has. If a man wants to sleep with a man; if a woman wants to sleep with a woman; if people want to change their sexuality; who says they can’t violate these perfectly arbitrary taboos? A short historical and cross-cultural survey should establish that men and women have worn and done all sorts of stuff. I recall reading something by Ron Gold in which it seemed that he thought at the age of 13 he liked boys. For starters, I’d have told him that I like boys too, but like normal people I got rid of my pecker to do it.
Perhaps it isn’t needless to say that a No to the notion of homosexuality does not excuse discrimination against gays or lesbians in employment, housing and public accommodation; and I strongly support legislation that would forbid it. I would, however, get after the doctors – the psychiatrists who use a phony medical model to invent a disease that doesn’t exist, and the activists who use such spurious diagnoses to endanger with horrific diseases the bodies of the deluded.
Somehow I think not.