Greetings, ducks! In today’s edition, I answer comments, specifically this comment from new reader Tamogochi! Hello, Tamo–let’s hear what you have to say:
I’ve followed to your blog from INFJ forum. It seems that feminism is quite a big portion of your life and the article you cited is indeed stupid.
You are correct on both counts–I congratulate you on your perspicacity!
My comment is more on the general topic.
Uh-oh. Nothing good ever follows a lead-in like that.
What I don’t get about that whole feminist attitude is why are you so infuriated (as it’s in a subtitle of your site)? The aggressive feminism worked a 100 years ago, but now is quite outdated.
Why am I so mad?
Well, first, am I all that mad? I don’t think I come across as indiscriminately angry. No. I choose my words (or try to) with great care, and there’s a reason I chose infuriated. For me, my fury is a low-grade, constant resentment of how messed up the world remains, of how we continue to play primate dominance games imported out of our misty prehistory, of how our culture plays lip service to the ideas of equality, justice, and change while trying to keep everything the same.
That is the source of my fury, as I documented previously, here and here, and it is why I am an implacable foe of unearned privilege.
Also, we live in a world where an ESPN reporter is filmed changing inside her hotel room and it gets thrown all around the internet (and the coverage never fails to note that But She’s Totes Hot and Playboyz Luvz Her so she kinda was asking for it, right?) and you’re telling me that my fury is out of date? That I shouldn’t be outraged a lot? That given the racist, sexist, classist imagery spoon-fed to us every day on television and radio and the internet that I shouldn’t be–I dunno, upset?
Perhaps this will clear a few things up:
That aggressiveness is the very thing that turns men away instead of trying to help women with their problems. It actually acts as an excuse. And a lame one.
Oh, Tamo.
It’s amazing what you managed to do there–pack so much privilege into a few short sentences. You are to be commended!
OK. First. Women aren’t asking men to “help them with their problems,” as if feminist concerns are issues that apply only to women. Feminism is not the “Sanitary Aids” aisle at the supermarket; it–or at least, the feminism I believe in–is a movement that must by its very nature try to bring true freedom and equality to all humanity, male and female. Feminist women need the help of feminist men, sure–we need everyone to realize they are trapped in a system that is forever geared towards generating inequality and systemic discrimination. But feminists are not begging for help, not wheedling like a 50s sitcom character trying to get her husband to buy her a new dress. Feminists are standing up as proud activists trying to realize their dream.
Second–seriously, dude, weak is just as good a four-letter word, conveys the same sense, and doesn’t offend anybody. Using lame is pretty weak.
(See how easy that was?)
How can you ever achieve anything genuinely positive if you just fight for one side and treat the other as disposable objects? That seems so wrong to me because feminists repeat the same old mistakes of patriarchalism. The only thing different is that roles are reversed now.
And how are we supposed to achieve anything genuinely positive if we hide our anger, stay meek and demure, and never demand anything? How the hell are we supposed to become equal if we stay subservient?
As for repeating the mistakes of patriarchalism–speak for yourself. That’s not the kind of feminism I support and advocate for, and it never has been on the short history of this blog. I firmly believe we have to tear down the entire privilege system and find something better–and soon, before the human race lurches into its final chapter.
And seriously, roles reversed? Are you saying women are more powerful than men? Cause that might actually make me mad.
Given the horrors our mad world continues to lurch through–the endemic poverty, the billions who are hunger, the millions who are starving, given how the First World continues to support itself on the slavery of the Third, given how even here in the Wonderful West we are plagued with massive amounts of sexism, racism, religious bigotry, looksism, and countless other oppressions, I think the question isn’t: why am I outraged?
It really should be, why aren’t you?