The Second Awakening

So what, you ducks want to breathlessly (well I hope not literally–I post so infrequently you’d be long out of oxy) know, does CL do with herself, since you don’t entertain and infuriate us lately?

I game.

I also work for a living and deal with worrying about getting fired, but I game a lot nowadays. And gaming eats a significant portion of whatever bandwidth I have between work and the things I do to keep me sane from work.

One of which is gaming. Have I mentioned that?

Gaming, ducks, means RPGS. Role playing games, the pen & paper and funny dice kind, not your Zeldas or Final Fantasies or what have you. For the first time since I was an itty-bitty trans gamer, I’ve been consistently getting a lot of gaming in.

One of these days I’m going to write about what it’s like to hit the table as both genders. Of course, three years ago people would actually have read it. Now? Who cares?

C. L. Minou went from being a D-List internet blogger to a has-been that never was. Or something.

Right, no pity party here. So, I play yer traditional Dungeons and Dragons clones, but for the last year or so I’ve been interested in what folks like to call Story games. RPGs, you see, that focus on storytelling and not tactical positioning. It’s interesting, and creative, and possibly a new genre of story telling.

So I hang out here, Story-Games.com, and it’s a nifty place, if a bit obscure for the newbie. And lately they’ve been having a discussion about getting more women involved in gaming communities.

This is a good thing. Women have a lot to contribute to gaming. I endorse it.

And of course the thread isn’t really being about including women.

I don’t know how many of the folks on the thread identify, but there’s sure a lot of butthurt and dismissal and…oh, WEV.

This is why it’s hard for me to blog lately.

‘Cos the fight is so bloody draining, and I have such limited bandwidth. And somewhere a while back I lost my fastball, and I don’t think there’s anything I can say that people care about.

And yet…not writing wears on me. I think about it. A lot. I miss the days of this place being a real going concern. But the inertia is so high.

Plus, I painted myself a bit in a corner here; I feel like I can’t expand the focus of the blog to other things in my life, can I?

Wait.

I guess I could.

I have to think about this…

Anyway, if you care about gaming and women in gaming, take a look at Story Games. And stay there! It’s a very cool place. Including the folks on the thread. Even if we have the irony again of a thread about women being dominated by men’s very special feelings.

Right, yeah. So this happened. Remember Fallon Fox? Remember I was going to write about her? Lucky days, Ducks, I’m actually keeping a promise.

I don’t much go for the ultimate fighting; about the only fighting I do of late is with polyhedral dice, which don’t hurt anybody. (Except the d4; that nasty little tetrahedron is the gaming geek’s caltrop of choice.) The one martial art I studied was the one with no attacks.

But now comes Fallon Fox to the bar. Or octagon. There’s something geometric involved. (Maybe a d4. Ouch!) So it turns out, she is trans! And a fighter in Mixed Martial Arts.

Of course, she didn’t set out to be a trans fighter in Mixed Martial Arts. She’s a female fighter in Mixed Martial Arts.

According to most people.

Maybe not Steve Crowder. (O my ducks, beware, for that link goes to Fox…)

Unless you were born and raised a woman, you don’t go around hitting chicks.

It’s only natural for human beings to get squeamish at the sight of a lifelong male pummeling dames mercilessly, but it’s not an argument. So let’s use a scientific one! Surprisingly, human biology is not the homophobic, intrinsically anti-transgender medium that leftists would have you believe.

So let’s assume for a second that one can completely change their genetics (rather than the likely reality of having merely pushed certain, inconvenient gene expressions at bay) after having Bobbitt’d their wiener. It is still undeniable that for this person’s entire life, that he had the hormonal profile and capabilities of a man. This is of course to say nothing of the ligaments, bone density and overall musculature that has been built over a lifetime of… well, being a man. Let’s just talk hormones for a second.

Well! Biology may not be homophobic, but I know somebody who is.

So let’s assume for a second that one can completely change their genetics (rather than the likely reality of having merely pushed certain, inconvenient gene expressions at bay) after having Bobbitt’d their wiener. It is still undeniable that for this person’s entire life, that he had the hormonal profile and capabilities of a man. This is of course to say nothing of the ligaments, bone density and overall musculature that has been built over a lifetime of… well, being a man. Let’s just talk hormones for a secondWell! I think I just threw up in my mouth, which is still a more pleasant image than the ones Steve fed you.

I won’t keep the Fox regurgita…right, forget I said that. I’m going to stop quoting now. The rest is as bad, talks about musculature, and the amount of hormones in your body. Even if we were to posit any of that to be true (and it’s a bit dubious), let’s check two things:

• Ms. Fox has a body that is currently no more capable of producing testosterone than any other woman’s.
• Ms. Fox has been that way for more than two years.

 

Which is, you know, good enough for the International Olympic Committee!

Look, folks, I get it: this is controversial, even among us, the trans. There are many reasons why you might not want to compete in women’s sports, provided the you in this sentence is a woman of trans experience. Were the world as we wish it to be, and there was equality between all, well, then, no worries. But it ain’t. There are very good reasons for women to still have segregated sports, and segregated spaces. Though it needn’t have to be this way; I remain unconvinced that there isn’t a woman anywhere in the world, no matter what her path to womanhood was, who couldn’t learn to throw a knuckler well enough to pitch at least long relief, or pass well enough to play point guard for five minutes, or goalie for sixty. I myself would do away with segregation by gender and just go with rational divisions like weight class or fastball speed, or acting ability if you like soccer. (Meryl Streep could make any side in Europe a contender! I kid, folks, I love the beautiful game.)

What isn’t a good reason is the crass, knee-jerk, gender essentialism of folks like Steverino up there (sadly mirrored, sometimes, by folks on what should be the side of the angels. Or cupcakes, if like me you don’t believe in angels.) Nobody should beat up on anybody, male or female, is what I says; unless, of course, everyone’s signed up for it in some polygon of some kind.

And for the record, taken with a large amount of salt, and the realization that I eat like crap and have had a milestone birthday in between: I am a shade of what I used to be able to do, prehormones. It’s damn near impossible for me to keep my weight down, let alone lower it. Things that I used to lift without even thinking about it are now major problems sure to cause me pain down the road. I walk slower, breathe heavier, and if anything my larger frame is a hindrance, because I lack the muscles to push it around.

It’s been four years now since my own surgery. Food for thought.

Greetings, Ducks! I do have a few ideas for new posts floating around. It’s a thing! A thing I do in fact plan to do. But my writing time is currently being sucked up with making a prop for my Cthulhu game. Yes, yes, I know. Sheesh.

In the meantime, check this out. Yours mostly truly got her creaky Gen-X self interviewed by the very bright, very awesome folks at The Student Journal, in the UK. Apparently we are big, not so much in France (hélas!) but in l’Angleterre. Seriously, it was a fantastic experience and helps reaffirm my belief that you Millennials are the last best hope of Earth.

Jesus, I mean to write about this soon: the always awesome Fannie on the Ultimate Fighter who has had to out herself as trans.

Hey, we have  new pope! I guess the blessing I got (me and 10,000 folks in St. Peter’s Square) from Pope Emeritus has expired!

Enjoy the links. I’ll see you all again soon.

creeak

Boy, things sure haven’t changed since I was last here…

*bump*

Didn’t remember leaving that there…

*cough*

Sure is a lot of dust here…

*CRASH*

Ouch! That’s where I left the desk…

Greetings ducks, and Happy New Year, which is what the title of the post says. I think. I’m listening to Jacques Brel as I type this, but that doesn’t make my French any better.

So! I thought I’d drop by the old haunt and see how things are going. It seems everything is functional, so I gave the old girl a new look. Bit less cluttered, bit more modern. Hope you enjoy it.

At this point, every time I’ve threatened to come back and start writing, I’ve lied. So this time, I’m announcing…my retirement! That’s it! I absolutely won’t have anything to say ever again.

Well, except for this, which the Guardian was gracious enough to ask me to do.

Which means I’ve already lied! That could actually work out…

 

Hey! I actually wrote something! Not here, but over on the Guardian’s Comment Is Free. It’s about Tom Gabel’s imminent transition:

Like anything, it’s just the beginning of the rest of your life, but that’s the point, isn’t it? To begin to really live your life. I’m not going to even bother talking about all the things that are happening to your body. By now you know the details, gruesome, enlightening, and even delightful; if our readers want to know them, they’re a click away.

Check it out!

I’ve been away.

(Where O where have you been, C.L.?)

I’ve been to love, ducks. Love love super lovey love. Although I might not be for much longer, after that sentence.

Also, work. Work is good. I’m glad I have it. But it does eat into one’s blogging.

And D&D!

(Pause while my one remaining reader flees.)

So, OK, I’ve been busy being amorous and financially fit and pretending to be a sorceress. (What? you were expecting a hobbit?)

What else?

Some of it is being busy. And some of it…some of it is that I lost a lot of faith.

The last year or so has left me (and some of you, I’ll wager) feeling a lot more hopeless about…everything. Social justice. The world economy not crashing or reforming itself into the latest take in feudalism. Everywhere you go, at least in this country (and a bunch of others), the forces of reaction, of kyriarchy, are on the march and nothing we do seems to slow them.

Here in the good ol’ U.S. of A., our choices basically amount to voting for the guy who wants to drive the car off a cliff, and the guy who just wants to drive it out to the middle of the Mojave and wait for things to turn up.

And I think I lost a little confidence because of that. In the idea that what I have to say will matter to anyone. Even to readers of blogs. Because what can I say that Liss or Amanda or Sady or…well, lots of folks haven’t already said, and better.

I’m still not sure I know the answer to that. But maybe I’m willing to give it a try again.

So….I’m back. Kind of.  For a while. Hope you enjoy the show.

And stay tuned for some announcements soon.

that would normally have a decent collection of words after it. If I had an idea. Which I don’t tonight. But I might soon!

This is also a post to say that my Tiger Beatdown commitment is likely going to be lessened soon and I’ll be writing more for my own blog again! Um, hooray?

This is also a post to say that one of the reasons I can’t even be bothered to put up a link post to my recent stuff (though have you seen the cool widget on the upper left? It’s pretty good at finding me!) is that the new job keeps me hopping and I’m remembering why it was so damn hard to write when you work full time; because you come home completely burnt-out, even when you really like your job.

This is also a post to say that the other reason you see less of me of late is because I am ridiculously happy because I have met a wonderful person and we are too busy coming up with ways to make each other joyous for me to have any creativity left for writing.

And finally this is a post to say that I will have real posts up soon. Because I’ve been away too long